But my question is, did I totally give my power away? Did I give her what she really wanted to pint to and say I'm the crazy one? Or is there a chance she may have read the emails and taken it to heart?
I don't know if I'd say you gave your power away. You were upset, lashing out, and lost a bit of control over your emotions. It has happened to most of us.
The question is how do you recover from this so that it doesn't keep you ruminating, building up your anger and resentment of her? Moving towards letting her go with compassion and determination to maintain an even keel.
I blasted her with everything I've learned about BPD and really tried to hit the core wounds and suggest help. Of course now I have moments when I feel sorry for her and realize that I blasted a disordered woman. Still, what she has done is not excusable and to not say that is to be a doormat. I can see both sides of the argument. Your thoughts?
Why do you think you feel the need to teach her a lesson? Saying what she has done is inexcusable implies that you still have some connection to wanting to right what you feel was wrong with her behavior and how she treated you. That isn't going to help you detach and heal.