Should I keep seeing uBPDxw family?

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

I am wondering if I'm doing the right thing. Anyone dealing with a similar situation that could share some thoughts? Or even if you're not in the similar situation what do you think?

My uBPDxw has broken off all contact with her immediate family (mother, sister, brother, nieces and nephews). We have two sons 14 and 9 and I stay in touch with her family so they don't lose these relationships. I invite them up for birthday parties holidays, school events, sporting activities, etc. my sons have lost so much with the divorce like any other child does but I don't want them to lose grandmom and everyone else too.

It's hard sometimes because I love her family and we've known each other for 20 years and I really don't want my boys to lose their relationships with them but sometimes I feel like it keeps me in my uBPDxw's world more than I want to be. I am on very strict LC with her for my own sanity. It's very sad because everyone in her family said they would rather see me then her because she's doing so many hurtful things to them and their whole family.

In my mind I plan to continue to see them especially for my sons sake until my uBPPxw reestablishes contact with them and is willing to take around kids to see her family.

[mywifecrazy]

I am wondering if I'm doing the right thing. Anyone dealing with a similar situation that could share some thoughts? Or even if you're not in the similar situation what do you think?

My uBPDxw has broken off all contact with her immediate family (mother, sister, brother, nieces and nephews). We have two sons 14 and 9 and I stay in touch with her family so they don't lose these relationships. I invite them up for birthday parties holidays, school events, sporting activities, etc. my sons have lost so much with the divorce like any other child does but I don't want them to lose grandmom and everyone else too.

It's hard sometimes because I love her family and we've known each other for 20 years and I really don't want my boys to lose their relationships with them but sometimes I feel like it keeps me in my uBPDxw's world more than I want to be. I am on very strict LC with her for my own sanity. It's very sad because everyone in her family said they would rather see me then her because she's doing so many hurtful things to them and their whole family.

In my mind I plan to continue to see them especially for my sons sake until my uBPPxw reestablishes contact with them and is willing to take around kids to see her family.

[rollercoaster24]

Dear mywifecrazy

You are doing the right thing by your children, and by yourself and your wife's family, please don't doubt yourself on this one.

It is a great thing, although obviously very difficult for you, give yourself a very big hug and a pat on the back, you deserve it!

Sincerely Roller

[Lucky Jim]

Hey mwc, I admire you for making the effort to include your Ex's family for significant events in your kids' lives.  It's not about you, or your BPDx, but rather about your children's need to connect with members of their extended family, in my view.  So give yourself credit for doing something that will prove meaningful to your kids as they grow into adulthood.  LuckyJim

[Mutt]

I have to agree with everyone. You have a r/s with your ex in-laws for 20 years. It sounds like your on good terms, they see things for what they are with your ex. She has split her family black from the sounds of it. You're being mature, taking the high road for your kids sake. You're a big man, that's commendable, don't second guess.