I believe I've found the short term solution to get her off my case.
She contacted me last night by text, it started with "this isn't about blame... . " and ended up in complety blaming me for the breakdown and just about everything else that is wrong in her life... .
She asked me what my condition is, she has already labelled me as BPD before
This time I didn't defend. I have read here that being passive and taking it on the chin works to get them of our case. She asked me to admit to why I crashed the relationship and disgarded someone who loved me to my core wholeheartedly and I abused it. Of course she failed to take reponsibility and apologise for her stuff like abusive behaviour, bullying, control, extreme insults, blackmail, smearing my name, making up stories etc... I responded in brief that I was sorry for any harm I caused her, I thanked her for what she had done for me, told her she was rare and special and admitted that I was damaged, could not be in a relationship and needed time to heal.This seemed to work. I never told her that I was damaged by her behaviour, could not be in a relationship with her and needed to get away to heal myself
She is now allowing me to get my stuff from her home earlier than was arranged, hooked me up with a contact of her's for possible work and even left a XXX at the end of her message.
My plan is a 007 mission to get down to London later, collect my stuff, pay the ransom (she has demanded money that I "owe" her in exchange for my gear) and get out of Dodge really quickly.
I am by no means complacent nor comfortable because I know this could all flip 180 in an instant.
Wish me Luck ;-)
