Angry at what you lost?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So I have been painted Blacker than black, told to never contact her again and of course there was the name calling, the put-downs, the devastatingly hurtful things she said and the way she views me know.

I've lost contact with my god daughter (her Mum is pwBPD) and all close mutual friends have backed away (still hanging out with pwBPD but have distanced themselves from me).

I'm starting to get really angry with just how much pwBPD has managed to take away from me.

Not only have I lost my lifelong friendships and my god daughter, The things she said to me continue to haunt me every day, It feels like half of my family literally died over night and I never got the opportunity to say goodbye.

My stress and grief have gotten to such a point that I developed atopical dermitis which my Doctor said was as a result of being feeling so low - My body is covered in a red, lumpy, itchy rash; It's now made its way to my face.

I've lost a stone in weight in the last few months, I have nights where I can't sleep and other nights when I feel like I could sleep forever.

Most days it feels like I'm walking around in a strange daze, like I'm watching the world go by and I'm not able to join in.

The doctor has now put me on Anti-Depressants to try and help.

I've gone through a few difficult times in my life and have always coped without any kind of medication and I'm angry with myself that for some reason, this has knocked me for six.

I'm angry with her because she not only took half of my family away, she is taking my health, my looks (not that I was a stunner before), my sanity, my happiness... . It feels like she has taken the 'me' I know away with her.

Because my friends have disappeared, I can't talk to them about it - It's like I've ceased existing to them, I was someone they knew once and now I am no one so it feels like I'm choking on all the things I want to say.

I want to tell them that my heart is broken and that I'm still here, but they don't care.

Just wanted to post here to see if anyone else has felt angry at having to deal with the fallout from the abuse and vile put downs handed out by pwBPD whilst they just pick up their lives and carry on as if nothing happened?

[GlitterBug]

So I have been painted Blacker than black, told to never contact her again and of course there was the name calling, the put-downs, the devastatingly hurtful things she said and the way she views me know.

I've lost contact with my god daughter (her Mum is pwBPD) and all close mutual friends have backed away (still hanging out with pwBPD but have distanced themselves from me).

I'm starting to get really angry with just how much pwBPD has managed to take away from me.

Not only have I lost my lifelong friendships and my god daughter, The things she said to me continue to haunt me every day, It feels like half of my family literally died over night and I never got the opportunity to say goodbye.

My stress and grief have gotten to such a point that I developed atopical dermitis which my Doctor said was as a result of being feeling so low - My body is covered in a red, lumpy, itchy rash; It's now made its way to my face.

I've lost a stone in weight in the last few months, I have nights where I can't sleep and other nights when I feel like I could sleep forever.

Most days it feels like I'm walking around in a strange daze, like I'm watching the world go by and I'm not able to join in.

The doctor has now put me on Anti-Depressants to try and help.

I've gone through a few difficult times in my life and have always coped without any kind of medication and I'm angry with myself that for some reason, this has knocked me for six.

I'm angry with her because she not only took half of my family away, she is taking my health, my looks (not that I was a stunner before), my sanity, my happiness... . It feels like she has taken the 'me' I know away with her.

Because my friends have disappeared, I can't talk to them about it - It's like I've ceased existing to them, I was someone they knew once and now I am no one so it feels like I'm choking on all the things I want to say.

I want to tell them that my heart is broken and that I'm still here, but they don't care.

Just wanted to post here to see if anyone else has felt angry at having to deal with the fallout from the abuse and vile put downs handed out by pwBPD whilst they just pick up their lives and carry on as if nothing happened?

[lockedout]

Many, if no most of us have been right where you were. I had my separation a year and a half ago. By the time I'd separated, I was nearly suicidal. My big moment was on the day I consider to be the "separation" day. I realized that I'd been trying to make things work with someone who had painted me black a long time ago. I had been living in the front bedroom of the house on a hard mattress with threadbare sheets with clutter and self-improvement books all over the place. How does someone let someone they love live like that? She wanted no time changing the locks on the house after I moved out. It's taken a long time but I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. I'm dating a wonderful girl and I've had breakthroughs by hiring an attorney for the divorce negotiations and stopped taking ADHD medications because I may or may not have ADHD or anything else wrong with me. I'd taken them to appease her. Some comments:

all close mutual friends have backed away (still hanging out with pwBPD but have distanced themselves from me)

You have many acquaintances but damn few friends. These people are not your friends.

I'm angry with her because she not only took half of my family away, she is taking my health, my looks (not that I was a stunner before), my sanity, my happiness... . It feels like she has taken the 'me' I know away with her.

From here on out, you are responsible for your health and your looks. Make them your first priority and only priority for now. There isn't enough of you right now to spread your efforts among anything else.

I've lost a stone in weight in the last few months, I have nights where I can't sleep and other nights when I feel like I could sleep forever.

There's no better time to jump in on an exercise regimen than when your weight is already down. It's also very therapeutic. I got up to a half marathon in the first year of separation. The sleep issue will last a while. Setting up a routine can help.

Bottom line is that the failed relationship is not in your hands and you don't need to conquer those demons right now. You need to focus on taking care of yourself and nothing else.

[Mutt]

So I have been painted Blacker than black,

It's frustrating, hurtful and painful when someone you love suddenly splits you black and starts a smear campaign behind your back.   I share a similar experience. Friends and family side with your ex and incredilous untruthful stories of abuse, drugs etc.

The truth has a way of working it's way out. If mutual friends and family arent't giving me the respect of asking my side, or both sides of the story. It's not in my control. I really don't want those people in my inner circle. Judge me by my actions, not with second hand stories. Your goddaughter, that is painful   I'm so sorry. How old is your god daughter?

I've gone through a few difficult times in my life and have always coped without any kind of medication and I'm angry with myself that for some reason, this has knocked me for six.

Don't beat yourself up. You're exe's smear campaign will simmer down, it belongs to her, not you.

I'm angry with her because she not only took half of my family away, she is taking my health, my looks (not that I was a stunner before), my sanity, my happiness... . It feels like she has taken the 'me' I know away with her.

Are you in  NC or no contact from ex?

Just wanted to post here to see if anyone else has felt angry at having to deal with the fallout from the abuse and vile put downs handed out by pwBPD whilst they just pick up their lives and carry on as if nothing happened?

Yes I was angry. I went to a P, she said "Mutt, this doesn't belong to you what she's doing, that's belongs to her". It's true, it's not in my control, I control my actions. Therapy and this group is what got me through this very difficult part of a break up, are you in therapy GlitterBug?