still getting emails

[corraline]

I just don't know why when i have blocked him that emails are still coming through. There must be something i am doing wrong with my filters. My brother says i should just shut my emails down and start a new one.  It bugs me.

I don't feel  strongly triggered by them ,  they are full of anger and its certainly not very nice to have someone speak this way to me... . Its the usual again with most of the content in the subject line, hard to miss what he is saying because of it. He seems to go through old emails i sent him during the breakup and get triggered, then says things like "i don't know how someone like you can f*#king sleep at night", "you are nothing but a piece of ___"... . you are an as%hole and more.(sorry for the explicit language content ) It floors me that after all of this time he is still in rage.  But when i understand what i do now, i should not be all that surprised anymore.

I really thought that after all of this time this kind of thing would stop.  Guess not.

I'm going to think thru this email issue.  I am wondering if i can just let these things that come thru go.  I have to figure out if its going to be too unhealthy for me to see them come up.

I guess many on here still receive hateful messages and have learned to just sort of let them slide (or not).

Its kinda hard i guess. I have not contacted him for a couple of months and i never said anything antagonizing or hurtful.  I havent even seen him since the third week in January.

[Mutt]

Do you have kids together? I let mine pile up and skim through all of the nonsense and look for the important things, the kids. It's difficult, I find that I just don't open them at all, I open them at my convenience. I've been doing this for some time now, and it just becomes easier to ignore. You may  want to not read them at all. I'm not sure of the backstory, were you married?

[corraline]

thanks for your reply Mutt

no we don't have any children.  not married either so there really isn't anything important that i have to sift thru in his emails.  he puts most of the content in the subject line, or even all of it so its pretty visible at first glance.  i'm not as heavily triggered by it anymore. that's good i suppose.

sorry that you have to do that.  ugh.

[Mutt]

thanks for your reply Mutt

no we don't have any children.  not married either so there really isn't anything important that i have to sift thru in his emails.  he puts most of the content in the subject line, or even all of it so its pretty visible at first glance.  i'm not as heavily triggered by it anymore. that's good i suppose.

sorry that you have to do that.  ugh.

I couldn't imagine going through this before the internet and having to talk on the phone, over 20 years ago. That's far more triggering. I created a separate account for the kids, so I can keep it separate from personal emails. Easier to sift through for potential documents for court etc. I almost never check my email on my notebook. I check it on my phone and it's a separate tile, box for her. I see the number for emails, but I don't actually go into the mailbox.

It's just not necessary for me to have to check every single message at her whim. I do have to respond back for the kids, but I can wait until the evening after work, or I can wait a day.

Have you created filters to move his messages to another folder on your email account?

[corraline]

sounds like you've got it managed Mutt

taking good care of yourself   

[Mutt]

sounds like you've got it managed Mutt

taking good care of yourself   

Thank you corraline. It took awhile, it's a means to reduce the conflict, detaching and disengaging. It's creating boundaries, it really works  Good luck with your email situation.