poked the bear

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

We're contesting the restraining order and asking to have it dismissed.

After that, we're going to begin the process to file contempt charges for some of the more flagrant violations of the parenting plan and we are going to attempt to modify the plan for more contact, with an end goal for full custody.

As for the school, we are on the school's mailing list, but we still never see his daughter's day to day work, and this last year, the kiddo's teacher was less than cooperative with trying to share information via phone or email when it came time for conferences.

[gherkins]

We're contesting the restraining order and asking to have it dismissed.

After that, we're going to begin the process to file contempt charges for some of the more flagrant violations of the parenting plan and we are going to attempt to modify the plan for more contact, with an end goal for full custody.

As for the school, we are on the school's mailing list, but we still never see his daughter's day to day work, and this last year, the kiddo's teacher was less than cooperative with trying to share information via phone or email when it came time for conferences.

[Matt]

Are you and your attorney very well-prepared for Monday?

o

Who will present what?  Will there be witnesses?  How much time will you have to make your case?

Regarding schools, this is pretty common.  I think it's best to ignore the other parent and work with the school to fix the problem.  You can start out nice, and assume it's just an oversight (even if you don't really believe that), and ask for what is right:  "Please send all information related to Child to Father t this address" - physical address, e-mail, phone, etc.  Make it clear that you expect every bit of information related to the child to come to the father - no exceptions.

If you get "Well we send it all to Mrs. Mom and we assume she shares it with you.", don't accept that.  "That doesn't work.  You have to send it all to Mr. Dad."  If they argue that they can't send it to both parents, that's baloney - there is no reason they can't do it - my kids' school does that and it's routine.

If being nice doesn't help, ask for the name and contact information for the school's attorney, and don't leave til you get it.  The school will not want attorneys to be involved, because it will cost them money, and because they know they are wrong - their attorney will tell them they have to give you the information, and they'll have to pay her to be told that.  So when you mention their attorney, they will realize they can't stall any more, and they'll do what's right.

It's a shame you have to do that, but you can't let them get away with not giving you the information you need to be a good parent.  Over time they will probably see that you are doing what's best for the child and quit fighting you.

[gherkins]

After a tedious day in court, the ex-wife had her restraining order dismissed. The judge said that her 20 pages of complaints did not qualify as adult abuse and did not meet the standards for continuing the order.

Now, we will have contact with the kiddo withheld to punish us, but the wheels to modify the custody agreement are being set in motion. As terrible as this experience has been, it has made my husband more aware of what needs to be done to protect himself and to protect his daughter.