So tired of this

[eagle755]

Jesus Christ, you cannot trust one single word a BPD person says. Literally not one.

I shouldn't even be upset or angry right now but I am. I've been fine all day. Doing well, 16 days nc with my ex. Haven't thought about her or anything.

Then I see someone add a new fb page that she made.

So I look at it, just because I'm not over everything yet, I still have trauma bonds.

And apparently the whole situation where she moved 3000 miles away after we broke up, wasn't for a job offering like she said so many times. She doesn't even have a job up there apparently. I read all of her ___. And I don't even think she's staying with who she said she was. And I'm almost positive it's some new hero.

And it's infuriating me beyond tears of anguish.

I'm in the midst of coming to terms with how BPD people are, and I thought I was getting close to closing that chapter of things, but after I just saw all of this, and a lot of other things, like her being a completely different person than she was when we were together and everything. And it's just nsbzsnsgsjsbsjaags so much anger

In a couple minutes I'll calm down. And I'll put it in the past. But it's so very very frustrating to find out so many more lies. Bcause she moved with intentions of "I'll always love you, I'll never get over you, I want to move up there to fix myself and to be with you eventually" and now it's just ugh.

___ man. You can't trust these things at all

I thought she had at least some morality or something but nope, nothing.

[NorthLight]

Im sorry to hear that mate. You have been a motivation because it really seemed like you were on a good path to becoming better.

Remember how much you have moved on and try not to stalk her in any way.

The few times i stalked her (checked fb), i saw she went on parties and festivals, added a bunch of new guys on friends etc (this was right after she dumped me). I blocked her, deleted her number, and she actually deleted every mutual friend we had haha (+ my whole family).

Try to do the same mate, because nothing you find out about her now will help you heal, it will only heal if you stop reading anything about her life (it helped for me)

[eagle755]

I don't stalk her at all, I don't even search for her on facebook. She's tried contacting me twice, once with a different number, and I didn't even respond. I actually woke up today with another text from her. Just another hi.

I went off on her and said "what the f*** don't you get about don't contact me again"

She sent some responses fishing for pity, and I told her to stay out of my life and I didn't care. Then she said "goodbye... " and I didn't even respond. Sucks to be harsh but still

Like, I'm doing much better. I'm capable of ignoring her and ignoring a lot of things. I'm not taking things day by day anymore. I'm living life and am much happier, I have the positive people around me to thank for all of it. Great job, great friends, lots of flirting with other women.

Last night just annoyed me so severely. All of their lies hit me again. and I felt stupid again for living such a fake reality.

We can't let them control us, were much better than that

[seeking balance]

Last night just annoyed me so severely. All of their lies hit me again. and I felt stupid again for living such a fake reality.

It is hard to trust someone and find out that they lied - anger is completely understandable.  Use the anger to keep your boundaries intact... .when you feel ready, let your guard down and let yourself feel the pain.  Anger is a mask for the hurt, whether we like it or not.

It is not fair and it definitely hurts - let yourself be as angry as you need to be while being mindful not to be destructive to you or anyone else.

Regarding FB - I am pretty sure everyone on the leaving board has learned that lesson the hard way... .it is a good gauge as to how detached we are.  Don't beat yourself up for looking and certainly next time the opportunity presents itself to look again, come back and read this thread.

Hang in there!

SB