Raising a baby with a Bpd exH

[Green_eyes]

Hello all,

I am currently separated from my BPD ex fiancé. After dealing with a lot of abuse that turned physical during my pregnancy and continued after the birth of my son I finally filed for an emergency protection order to have my ex forced out of my home as I had always been the one to have to pack up with my baby and our two dogs and leave the house.

I made many promises to myself that if the abuse continued after our son was born I would leave and after breaking that promise a few more times I have finally come to the heartbreaking realization that this is probably for the best for everyone.

After the EPO order by partner never contacted me and left town for work only, to return for a day and leave the territory without even letting me know.

I have been in contact with his mother and discovered that he had retuned to her home to seek treatment and get better. He eventually reached out and let me know that he wants us to be a family again one day but it was still all very one sided and controlling and it appears that he doesn't understand the seriousness of where things are.

I feel terrified when I think about a life of walking on eggshells with him but I also feel terrified of a life of dealing with being tethered to him through my son. I want to get sole custody and offer him supervised visitation but he says he will not be returning to the territory where we are living.

Does anyone have any experience with this type of situation? Anytime I have asked him what kind if relationship he is hoping for he will not respond and he will not provide me with his lawyers contact information. A big part of me hopes he will simply give up on working things out and that he will even give up on being a father to his son.

I always felt nervous of him when he had the baby as it seemed like he had in real connection to him and that he couldn't nurture if soothe my son when he was upset or crying.

I remember him saying he doesn't want another man to raise his son and hate thinking that this is the fuel to keeping him fighting to be involved.

It's like he sees our child as an object and not a person. He splits him as he splits me into all good and all bad.

I wish I could predict the future as he will be forced to return eventually as he owns a business here and has al, of his property here and his belongings are all left in my home.

I feel so trapped... .