I needed a break from him.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I spent a prolonged weekend with my uBPDbf. It was extremely taxing on me and I have no clue where I got the strength to deal with.

We usually spend every weekend together. Last weekend was the first one in 10 months that we've spent apart. He's superstitious about us spending every weekend together. He's been convinced that if we miss one, it means that our breakup is imminent.

It was my mom's birthday and my house flooded so I stayed with my parents instead. I got an earful from him over that. Some of the texts I got were enough to convince me we were over. So I came to terms in some way, and went out to see a movie with another friend, having told my friend that we are probably done with. It was a good evening, it helped me deal with that day's fight. My uBPDbf had said things along the lines of "I'm looking for something better even if we are together. That he used to think I was good enough, but he isn't so sure any more. A lot of shattering comments like that. I got over it.

He's been texting me since, asking when I will come up because he really misses me. I've put it off. I could have come up last weekend most likely, but I truly did not want to deal with his crap.

A part of me is moving away from him. I have internal conversations with myself where I tell him that we are truly over.

I'm supposed to go up tomorrow. He's planned a bunch of stuff for us to do together. We are supposed to go to a wedding as well. He's even gone as far as to look for things to spice up our intimate life.

Today he texted me something about how much he wants me. I responded with, "are you sure?" (We weren't intimate 2 weeks ago). He got angry and told me that since I wanted to open that can of worms, if I took better care of myself and my hygiene, he'd probably want me more. I take like 2-3 showers a day, no exaggeration,  when I'm at his place. I started wearing clinical strength antiperspirant because he complained that my regular deodorant didn't work. I groom myself very meticulously, shave and so on. I texted back about how it's okay because any relationship requires compromise, and I have no issue taking good care of myself. My heart wasn't in it though. I think I've stopped caring. I've been torn into pieces by him so many times, that I'm slowly actually becoming indifferent.

I used to text him long texts about how much I loved him, how wonderful he is. He told me to stop with that bs, that he is tired of idealistic crap like that. That I only write that stuff cause i'm bored. The unfortunate part is, I actually meant those things. It was ways that I reminded myself of all the things that I treasure about him, all the moments together that I'm grateful for. Ever since I've stopped doing that, I've grown nothing but distant. I treat him more like a friend than a partner. I don't think I actually care that he's looking for someone else. Thinking about the good times we've had hurts. It's a reminder of how happy I've been with him by my side, and just how cold my heart has grown towards him.

[misuniadziubek]

I spent a prolonged weekend with my uBPDbf. It was extremely taxing on me and I have no clue where I got the strength to deal with.

We usually spend every weekend together. Last weekend was the first one in 10 months that we've spent apart. He's superstitious about us spending every weekend together. He's been convinced that if we miss one, it means that our breakup is imminent.

It was my mom's birthday and my house flooded so I stayed with my parents instead. I got an earful from him over that. Some of the texts I got were enough to convince me we were over. So I came to terms in some way, and went out to see a movie with another friend, having told my friend that we are probably done with. It was a good evening, it helped me deal with that day's fight. My uBPDbf had said things along the lines of "I'm looking for something better even if we are together. That he used to think I was good enough, but he isn't so sure any more. A lot of shattering comments like that. I got over it.

He's been texting me since, asking when I will come up because he really misses me. I've put it off. I could have come up last weekend most likely, but I truly did not want to deal with his crap.

A part of me is moving away from him. I have internal conversations with myself where I tell him that we are truly over.

I'm supposed to go up tomorrow. He's planned a bunch of stuff for us to do together. We are supposed to go to a wedding as well. He's even gone as far as to look for things to spice up our intimate life.

Today he texted me something about how much he wants me. I responded with, "are you sure?" (We weren't intimate 2 weeks ago). He got angry and told me that since I wanted to open that can of worms, if I took better care of myself and my hygiene, he'd probably want me more. I take like 2-3 showers a day, no exaggeration,  when I'm at his place. I started wearing clinical strength antiperspirant because he complained that my regular deodorant didn't work. I groom myself very meticulously, shave and so on. I texted back about how it's okay because any relationship requires compromise, and I have no issue taking good care of myself. My heart wasn't in it though. I think I've stopped caring. I've been torn into pieces by him so many times, that I'm slowly actually becoming indifferent.

I used to text him long texts about how much I loved him, how wonderful he is. He told me to stop with that bs, that he is tired of idealistic crap like that. That I only write that stuff cause i'm bored. The unfortunate part is, I actually meant those things. It was ways that I reminded myself of all the things that I treasure about him, all the moments together that I'm grateful for. Ever since I've stopped doing that, I've grown nothing but distant. I treat him more like a friend than a partner. I don't think I actually care that he's looking for someone else. Thinking about the good times we've had hurts. It's a reminder of how happy I've been with him by my side, and just how cold my heart has grown towards him.

[Mutt]

I'm sorry misuniadziubek   He's emotionally immature and narcissitic. The other shoe is ready to drop if your not with him every weekend. He's throwing up FOG. I understand how it feels when we miss the good and we long for it. Doesn't it feel like a one-way relationship and q unconditional love?