I was doing so well

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I was in a 8 year relationship with my BPD and his older diagnosed BPD daughter.  They are both way to emotionally intimate and as he actually called her "his wife". It was difficult to the point that I still can't believe I stayed. If she wasn't using me as her whipping post, she would go after one of my children either because she could use them as her scapegoat while as a teen or in an  attempt to hold me and my family over her dads head as being more important to him than her. Regardless they were both riggers to the other. Painful painful experiences and episodes. But when your normal and you think you have the incredible person in your life that you put first always you think that some day they will see the light.  Did I pay attention to the fact that he had been married three times and had countless other shorter term relationships. No because when your in the dream "we think we are different"  Did I pay attention to,the fact that his mother had left his father when he was a toddler and he had been shifted around for two years before his aunt and uncle took them to raise. Nope. He just has a few trust issues I thought and I can love him enough. Could I live with his daughter. Oh yes she will grow up and have a life. Last summer after I worked a 12 hour day and she had lounged by his pool all day I announced I was going to Yoga. She blasted me for only ever cooking for my daughter who lives out of state  and I see three times a year. Of course we all know none of that is true. As I cooked for her and her friends for two years when I lived with

Him and her mother on many occasions. At 25 she is still entrenched more than ever. Why because they re the only two that can stand each other.  It didn't matter that when when we traveled, he used to relax and enjoy when we were away, cause all it took was a phone call from her and he would tail spin and guess who became the whipping post. The day I decided to level was when the daughter wanted to have another serious conversation with me at 25. Only to be told that although I was a good mother to my children I would never love her that way and what had I ever done for her and on and on and on. I listened and validated then responded with all of the times I was at the hospital during her episodes (suicide) attempts and did I do,this and this nod this. She responded there you go keeping score. WOW. The next day I told him I was going back to my place and the following day he reached out to me. Always on that he needed something from me. Thanks to the advice on this site I text him I needed a little break from the relationship,and promptly blocked him from text phone Facebook and email. I didn't hear from him for 4 months when he contacted me from an unknown number. Again he needed to ask me a question I answered and said ok bye. Two months later he called me again from an unknown number with a question and I answered him and said ok bye. His attempts in the past to get me back have never been I am sorry ha I screwed up, ha I need you in my life, ha.  A mutual friend told me 45 min later on the same day  he posted on his Facebook that he was in a relationship. Why does this bother me?  She's not going to eventually get anything better than I got. In one of our past break ups when I herd he was dating I reached out to him and eventually the girl did something to trigger him and I was back. It merely upset me at first but it is continuing to haunt me. I don't want that  world back in my life. Darn it. I was barely thinking of him and wham.

[allinasmile]

I was in a 8 year relationship with my BPD and his older diagnosed BPD daughter.  They are both way to emotionally intimate and as he actually called her "his wife". It was difficult to the point that I still can't believe I stayed. If she wasn't using me as her whipping post, she would go after one of my children either because she could use them as her scapegoat while as a teen or in an  attempt to hold me and my family over her dads head as being more important to him than her. Regardless they were both riggers to the other. Painful painful experiences and episodes. But when your normal and you think you have the incredible person in your life that you put first always you think that some day they will see the light.  Did I pay attention to the fact that he had been married three times and had countless other shorter term relationships. No because when your in the dream "we think we are different"  Did I pay attention to,the fact that his mother had left his father when he was a toddler and he had been shifted around for two years before his aunt and uncle took them to raise. Nope. He just has a few trust issues I thought and I can love him enough. Could I live with his daughter. Oh yes she will grow up and have a life. Last summer after I worked a 12 hour day and she had lounged by his pool all day I announced I was going to Yoga. She blasted me for only ever cooking for my daughter who lives out of state  and I see three times a year. Of course we all know none of that is true. As I cooked for her and her friends for two years when I lived with

Him and her mother on many occasions. At 25 she is still entrenched more than ever. Why because they re the only two that can stand each other.  It didn't matter that when when we traveled, he used to relax and enjoy when we were away, cause all it took was a phone call from her and he would tail spin and guess who became the whipping post. The day I decided to level was when the daughter wanted to have another serious conversation with me at 25. Only to be told that although I was a good mother to my children I would never love her that way and what had I ever done for her and on and on and on. I listened and validated then responded with all of the times I was at the hospital during her episodes (suicide) attempts and did I do,this and this nod this. She responded there you go keeping score. WOW. The next day I told him I was going back to my place and the following day he reached out to me. Always on that he needed something from me. Thanks to the advice on this site I text him I needed a little break from the relationship,and promptly blocked him from text phone Facebook and email. I didn't hear from him for 4 months when he contacted me from an unknown number. Again he needed to ask me a question I answered and said ok bye. Two months later he called me again from an unknown number with a question and I answered him and said ok bye. His attempts in the past to get me back have never been I am sorry ha I screwed up, ha I need you in my life, ha.  A mutual friend told me 45 min later on the same day  he posted on his Facebook that he was in a relationship. Why does this bother me?  She's not going to eventually get anything better than I got. In one of our past break ups when I herd he was dating I reached out to him and eventually the girl did something to trigger him and I was back. It merely upset me at first but it is continuing to haunt me. I don't want that  world back in my life. Darn it. I was barely thinking of him and wham.