Help? He's back

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Three weeks ago My ex smashed my car up when he found out I had dated when we were not together. He made it clear he hated me and felt I deserved it. I felt he wanted me out of his life as he had moved on.

Today he sent texts "are you ok" then "don't mess with my head you'll never hear from me again". He rang and told me he tried to kill himself been in hospital diagnosed with bipolar.  he admitted he is now in love with someone else and didn't want to hurt me but has to be honest (about time)

I asked what he wanted from me he accused me of always putting things back on him and what did I want. We have left it that we will speak tomorrow. I really don't want to get sucked back in but don't know how to stop myself

Grateful for any support or advice

[merlin4926]

Three weeks ago My ex smashed my car up when he found out I had dated when we were not together. He made it clear he hated me and felt I deserved it. I felt he wanted me out of his life as he had moved on.

Today he sent texts "are you ok" then "don't mess with my head you'll never hear from me again". He rang and told me he tried to kill himself been in hospital diagnosed with bipolar.  he admitted he is now in love with someone else and didn't want to hurt me but has to be honest (about time)

I asked what he wanted from me he accused me of always putting things back on him and what did I want. We have left it that we will speak tomorrow. I really don't want to get sucked back in but don't know how to stop myself

Grateful for any support or advice

[woofhound]

I would start by accessing the situation in a logical way. In other words, you have to weigh the benefits (which will be mostly very, very short term) and the risks (which sound pretty big, and will be long term).

Try and remember why you aren't with him anymore. If anything, see ask if he is willing to get help. If he is, then maybe give it a few months or so, and see how he is doing. There's no need to rush into anything.

[merlin4926]

Thanks I just can't believe it. Today was the first morning I woke up feeling ok about the future - it's like he can tell and he's ready to drag me back. I don't understand though if he is 'in love' with someone else why did he contact me? I am just going to sleep on it and hope that I feel strong tomorrow and can ignore the phone call IF it comes

[woofhound]

It's a difficult journey you're on. I've often wondered how I would react if my ex ever showed up again... .If nothing else, give it time. The answers are already in you.