Left BPD gf for another woman

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Has anyone ever done this?

What was the reaction of the BPD... .

Would think semi EXPLOSIVE... .

[Flora73]

Has anyone ever done this?

What was the reaction of the BPD... .

Would think semi EXPLOSIVE... .

[willy45]

I did. The impact was more on me than my ex. I didn't tell her. I left in one of her rages and thought F it... .I'm going to be with this nice girl who likes me and doesn't yell at me when I have to pee. The impact was more on me. I felt a tremendous amount of guilt and confusion. Only now do I realize that it was absolutely the best decision I could have made. Got me out, somewhat. But it was the wrong way to go. Had the 'what its' for a year and a half. And was pretty sh$tty for the nice girl... .But, overall, I had to get out. Wish I had done it better though.

[TheBPDSurvivor]

I never left my uBPDexgf for another girl but I said her best girlfriend whom she grew up with for the past 8 yrs but was painted black and not it contact with my uBPDexgf talked with me and said some secret stuffs about my ex to me.

That was the last call I spoke with her and she literally erupted and cried at the same time and asked me like "What did she say about me?, Why didn't you tell me that she talked with you?" and I was like... ."You only wanted me to not talk with you and kept avoiding me for the past 3 weeks. How can I say it then?"

Its exactly 1 year passed today since my breakup and my ex is now friends with her gf whom she hasn't talked to when she was in relationship with me. What she doesn't know is I never knew that girl nor talked to her before but I'm sure she believed what I said. Talk about BPD loving dramas...

I never really wanted to lie on her but once I started smelling something wrong, I wanted to play her game but after visiting this board, I found out its usually their move to make our bestfriends as their replacements. I think I won on that one by playing ahead.

[Mr Hollande]

I never left my BPD ex for another woman but I did have rather pleasant relations with another lady in the last year of my miserable existence with the ex.  I did it because she'd been with another man during our relationship. Well, two depending on how one chooses to see it. Two that I know of I must add. God knows how many others she screwed behind my back during our 5 years together. When she found out she didn't like it. That's an understatement BTW. It hit her really hard and she never got over it. You see it was only OK when she did it. When I did it it was the end of the world.

No regrets! Wish I'd slept around more now.

[Mutt]

Physical and emotional affairs are difficult. I don't think that I can separate the two, an EA is just as hurtful as a PA to me anyway.

I watched my ex detaching in front of me for two years before she left. She had an exit affair- her coping mechanism through a transitional object. The chance of such an r/s is low in succeeding but some people truly are happy.

My ex can't sustain an interpersonal relationship. I had become a trigger. I was depressed, angry, frustrated at her behaviors and couldn't cope. She couldn't cope either. She started an affair and left.

It breaks my heart that my marriage broke down. I did the best that I could at the time and she doesn't know better. She dissociates to alter what happened by saying that she didn't have an affair. She knows it wasn't right. I let it go.

I'm learning more about the disorder and relationships - healthier choices for me. I'm confident I'll make wiser choices. Boundaries is a big lesson and a boundary going into something new is that it's not something that I can't accept, EA's or PA's. I can't work with that I therapy, maybe some people can and it doesn't mean that they're wrong in doing so. I couldn't cheat on her because of my wedding vows and that's how I am.

It took a lot of therapy and learning about borderline personality disorder to accept her cheating. I forgive her, we had our time together. It was what it was.