It really annoys me the fact that we broke up in jan'14 and I managed to keep NC for a good couple of months ( even tho he tried to break NC every week or so).
I was feeling great. I kept myself busy and life was smiling at me again.
Then a couple of months ago he called me up when I was at my mums. I wasn't expecting that call and answered the phone. Then he started to talk and I was somehow intrigued to hear what he had to say.
BIG MISTAKE.
He was very charming and before I knew it I was in love again. I had fell for his charms. He said he had learnt his lesson and was a changed man.
We kept in touch and soon he started to push me to go and see him. I wasn't ready to do so, so I explained I needed more time. He didn't take that very well. He became the nasty man I was used to. He told me I was wasting his time and that he didn't want to hear from me ever again. Once again I blocked him everywhere. But he always finds a way to get in touch. He either creates a new email or a fake profile on fb. Sometimes he calls from a telephone box and leaves me voice mails begging me to give him a chance. And he also threats me as well. Things like: I'm gonna kill myself if u don't come up to see me or I'll come to ur work or I'll speak to ur family so they can make u see sense. I'm very tired of being in this rollercoaster. I haven't seen him for 6 months. I thought I'd be free from him by now. I thought I'd be in a better place, but once again I find myself feeling miserable and grieving over him. In fact I find myself missing him and wanting to meet him. Even tho I know he's very ill and that I could never trust him again.
My heart says: "go on see him"
My head says: " forget about him, there's no way your going back to him"
Thing is since we broke NC, I've been feeling LOST! Very lost.
Just wanted to warn those of you who are thinking about going LC. Don't do it. You will regret it. They won't change in few months. They will once again break your heart and leave you in limbo.
Are there stalking laws where you live? If yes go to the police dept and file a report. Sometimes the police officer who wrote the report will phone the ex to express that it is against the law to stalk. It is good for both of you to do this if you can!
