Why is she saying these things to me

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So I asked her if what she would do about her bf if she moved. She responded by asking if that was a casual way of asking if she was still seeing him. I just said I was wondering.

She responded by saying

Her- " I mean I didn't let us being together hold me back from moving to NY right?"

Me " I lived 80 miles from NY, Big difference"

Her- "That's true. I actually don't like to think about it because I no idea. Haha. But it's extremely unhealthy to base your life on someone else. I mean if a guy moved to be closer to me I would be freaked out. Unless I thought it was going to last a long time, I'd be worried. Honestly, in our relationship I think it moved too quickly and too forcefully."

Me' "We were at weird parts of our lives"

Her- ya but also we weren't a great fit don't you think? I felt like we just weren't a good fit. I mean I think we were bored and wanted to feel something so we chose each other to do it and there ya go"


Why is she saying these things?

[zenwexler]

So I asked her if what she would do about her bf if she moved. She responded by asking if that was a casual way of asking if she was still seeing him. I just said I was wondering.

She responded by saying

Her- " I mean I didn't let us being together hold me back from moving to NY right?"

Me " I lived 80 miles from NY, Big difference"

Her- "That's true. I actually don't like to think about it because I no idea. Haha. But it's extremely unhealthy to base your life on someone else. I mean if a guy moved to be closer to me I would be freaked out. Unless I thought it was going to last a long time, I'd be worried. Honestly, in our relationship I think it moved too quickly and too forcefully."

Me' "We were at weird parts of our lives"

Her- ya but also we weren't a great fit don't you think? I felt like we just weren't a good fit. I mean I think we were bored and wanted to feel something so we chose each other to do it and there ya go"


Why is she saying these things?

[JohnLove]

Is she playing the BPD "game" or is she being truthful?.

I sense she is afraid of intimacy with some of those comments. If I were serious or extremely interested (and they reciprocated) I would move to be closer to someone... .even if its not moving in with them or them with you. I know because I have.

She is also insinuating that she doesn't feel true love for you. I am still out on whether a pwBPD can express, appreciate, and feel true love. I imagine they can feel intensely but is it real love?. True love?.

Hard for a non to work out. It also doesn't assist that I don't know your background story.

I will say this. Life isn't really a game. It is to be enjoyed (if possible) and experienced. Honestly and deeply. For this is where the real living is.