Of course she has to make this difficult for me.

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

My wife and I have been separated for over 6 weeks now. We have no kids, no jointly owned property, we both want a clean break and to get this over with. I refinanced my condo so I'd have some money to pay her back from a loan she gave me. Nevermind that I don't even feel like I should owe her anything, but I'm not going to fight it because I don't want a trial or anything expensive.

I had my lawyer send her the petition today and of COURSE she had a problem with the wording. She also used to be a lawyer so gets really picky about anything she signs. She "wasn't comfortable with the wording". I talked to my lawyer and he said she could add a section if she wanted to, so she sent me her revisions just now.

She added something about how she'd "be happy to omit the part about my debt to her if I paid her before she signed the petition".

NOPE. I told her "I'd be happy to leave that part in because I'm not paying you until you sign the petition".

I know she wants a divorce as much as I do, but this has got to be her way of trying to control the situation and piss me off. I'm sure of it.

I'm going to get through this and I really hope she just signs the thing today or tomorrow and we can get on with it.

I'm just so so angry at her I don't know what to do. Grrr.

[SpringInMyStep]

My wife and I have been separated for over 6 weeks now. We have no kids, no jointly owned property, we both want a clean break and to get this over with. I refinanced my condo so I'd have some money to pay her back from a loan she gave me. Nevermind that I don't even feel like I should owe her anything, but I'm not going to fight it because I don't want a trial or anything expensive.

I had my lawyer send her the petition today and of COURSE she had a problem with the wording. She also used to be a lawyer so gets really picky about anything she signs. She "wasn't comfortable with the wording". I talked to my lawyer and he said she could add a section if she wanted to, so she sent me her revisions just now.

She added something about how she'd "be happy to omit the part about my debt to her if I paid her before she signed the petition".

NOPE. I told her "I'd be happy to leave that part in because I'm not paying you until you sign the petition".

I know she wants a divorce as much as I do, but this has got to be her way of trying to control the situation and piss me off. I'm sure of it.

I'm going to get through this and I really hope she just signs the thing today or tomorrow and we can get on with it.

I'm just so so angry at her I don't know what to do. Grrr.

[ForeverDad]

There's a word for what you're doing:  Leverage.  For compliance.  That loan repayment is leverage you can't 'gift' away.

[Nope]

Some BPDs are uncomfortable with anything being easy. If it seems easy she may think that means there is something wrong and she's about to get taken advantage of. Hence, the need to make problems where there are none. Good job holding your boundary. 

[SpringInMyStep]

Definitely leverege. She now says she's "happy to sign" the revised divorce petition so as soon as my lawyer says he's received it, I'm going to send her the money. But I'm not going to make that easy for her either. I'm going to send her a cashier's check certified mail. The thing is, she has never set up her phone so that people can be buzzed into her condo. So when the mailman comes to deliver her certified mail that requires a signature, he won't be able to reach her. He'll have to leave a little slip in her mailbox and she will have to go to the Post Office and pick it up.

This will piss her off because she's used to people doing everything for her but not this time.

[AlonelyOne]

Some BPDs are uncomfortable with anything being easy. If it seems easy she may think that means there is something wrong and she's about to get taken advantage of. Hence, the need to make problems where there are none. Good job holding your boundary. 

WOW, this is so it... .my offering to give full control of the kids iPad/iDevices to my wife generated a comment that I only was offering because I didn't want them. Rather, I explained since I have limited access, am unable to install applications (she took control of the iTunes account).  And that the requirement to pass them back and forth, and if accidentally forgotten, the resultant communication snafu was simply not worth the headache.

[scraps66]

Given time, that "leverage" you are appropriately insisting on could be construed as "abuse."  Under similar circumstances I was motivated to use the phrase, "abusing the system to make it more difficult," and was met with a response, "you're abusing me!"

[gherkins]

WOW, this is so it... .my offering to give full control of the kids iPad/iDevices to my wife generated a comment that I only was offering because I didn't want them. Rather, I explained since I have limited access, am unable to install applications (she took control of the iTunes account).  And that the requirement to pass them back and forth, and if accidentally forgotten, the resultant communication snafu was simply not worth the headache.

We were accused of giving the kiddo a tablet so that she could spy on her mother for us 

Never mind the fact that she can play math games or watch cat videos on it.  So, the tablet stays here at dad's house.  At least it can't get "accidentally" broken, like has happened in the past to gifts from us.

[Nope]

WOW, this is so it... .my offering to give full control of the kids iPad/iDevices to my wife generated a comment that I only was offering because I didn't want them. Rather, I explained since I have limited access, am unable to install applications (she took control of the iTunes account).  And that the requirement to pass them back and forth, and if accidentally forgotten, the resultant communication snafu was simply not worth the headache.

We were accused of giving the kiddo a tablet so that she could spy on her mother for us 

Never mind the fact that she can play math games or watch cat videos on it.  So, the tablet stays here at dad's house.  At least it can't get "accidentally" broken, like has happened in the past to gifts from us.

Or in our case go "missing" and suddenly be replaced by another expensive toy bought by their BPD mom... .from a pawn shop. Hmmm... .