In case I think of re-engaging , I made a list from preventing me from it

[borderdude]

Red lights:

* I should move in with her extreme quickly after I knew her.

* She was looking for her rescuing prince.

* Multiple personalities.

* No communications skills, felt more lonely when I was with her , than single.

* She never will improve , only become a better version of her self

* Extreme immature, coping with relations, and work like a child. Creating problems for the employer.

* No empathy, no skill to detect my feelings.

* No intimacy, no kissing, no touching.

* Extreme manipulative. Started controlling me, where I should go etc,  from the start.

* Asked me to engage with her, already in her new relationship.

* Do not seek help, her children are suffering, some of them already in therapy.

* I was her caregiver , not in a mutual relationship, everything was my problem, not hers,

[Deeno02]

Wow! Seen alot of those traits. At first it was great, then as time progressed (stages progressed) it tapered off. Wow, what a moron I was. Still miss her. Scared of possible return (recycle). Very scared... .

[borderdude]

Thanks to a previous BPD shortlived relationship , I was able to detect all the red lights early on, and thereby preventing me from a lot of pain. I did had a painful experience back then , but all experiences are some day applicable.

I was the one that broke up with her, I do not fool me twice. A person with some degree of self love , will not experience a BPD relationship. She did a lot of grief, charming, manipulation ... .was no attempt towards an adult talk (we're both 40+), 'bout the subject when we parted.

She then fast raced enabled an old flame , less than 1 month into the r/s, + now 1 month they are engaged(hurry , hurry).

She is happy about her new toy of narcissistic supply. The new flame is a 10-15 years younger , and she has made use of a LOTS of makup to resemble a 20yo girl , almost comic to see her play out her poor game. She also inhabits a new personality with him, not the same as with me (mirroring).


Look at me , I am engaged I am "normal"