Still buzzing

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Start of week 4. Still somewhat of a mess. Her birthday is tomorrow. Anxious. Lonely. Not sure what the hell is going on and still shuttering on how easy I was replaced in a day. Cant wrap my head around it. Feel totally out of touch with reality and hard to focus. Day 5 since last contact. Sucks.

[Deeno02]

Start of week 4. Still somewhat of a mess. Her birthday is tomorrow. Anxious. Lonely. Not sure what the hell is going on and still shuttering on how easy I was replaced in a day. Cant wrap my head around it. Feel totally out of touch with reality and hard to focus. Day 5 since last contact. Sucks.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Deeno02, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through and understand how hard it is.  I liken your situation to going through withdrawal from any harmful substance.  It hurts, but it's necessary to get to that happier place.  Somehow you have to call on your resources, including friends and family, to get you to the other side.  Hang in there, LuckyJim

[Mutt]

Hi Deeno02,

I'm sorry to hear it's difficult. It feels like the rug is pulled from under us when they move on so quickly and with little empathy. You are gobsmacked and traumatized by the whole thing.

It's tough and you have an anniversary coming up which makes it tougher. Lucky Jim has good advice, lean on family, friends and on the boards around the anniversaries. Hang in there.

[Inside]

BP’s often freak out on special or annual events, so enjoy your distance…

And from all I’ve learned, ‘we’re’ not replaced all that fast … they’ve merely shifted their attention to someone they’d been grooming as our replacement.  My experience had me noticing my uBPDxgf trolling the deepest when we were feeling most connected!  As if she couldn’t handle the thought of not constantly having ‘that feeling’ so worked overtime to line up someone else with which to carry on … because only she knew it was just a matter of time before she broke us up (again)…

As Lucky Jim put it, they are a harmful substance, and we definitely experience a withdrawal.  I think their aim is to leave us in a puddle, too devastated to retaliate or perhaps even recover…  I also feel they’ve a suicidal mindset that allows them to commit relationship suicide as recklessly as they destroy other opportunities in life.

It’s a complex kind of ugly that appears to come down hardest on the most caring among us.  Stay kind – do something fun with/ for your kids tomorrow, or with your (real) friends.  And keep posting ~