Crisis BUT progress, RTC update

[Parents! Get help here!]

We had a team meeting last Thursday and everyone agreed DD15 definitely needs to go to Residential for a while.  So of course DD de-compensated.  Has refused to go to school since, has refused to do any of her chores, is extremely irritable, her mood is just so explosive you can't even look at her.  Is sleeping and/or just laying in bed all the time.

Then last night we were driving home from DBT group and she was having a meltdown because her 4-yr old nephew was talking.  JUST talking. That's it.  And she was that irritated.  I asked her where she was at.  Someone here suggested a green/yellow/red system to me and we have been using it, she tells me every day where she is at.  Green is fine, yellow is she is having some thoughts but is safe and red is she is not safe and needs help.  She said she didn't know if she was yellow or red.  I asked if she wanted to hurt herself... .yes.  Did she want to kill herself... .yes.   Was she safe at home... .no.   So we got home and I talked to her some more and I asked her if she needed to go somewhere for a few days to be safe and she said yes.  That is HUGE progress!  I know the whole scenario is terrible, my daughter wanting to hurt herself, but her communicating and agreeing to help is such a positive change it made me happy on some level even though my heart was breaking again. 

I called the Crisis unit which is a step-down from full hospitalization and they agreed to take her so off we went.  The good thing about it is that it is only one town over.  When we got there she showed me her arms, she's cut up pretty badly, deeper than she normally cuts.  She wouldn't show me her legs because she said I would freak out but she agreed to show staff after I left.  So they must be bad.  She tends to write words in her legs like "fat" and "worthless" and it really upsets me. 

Right now she is in a safe place.  We have submitted apps to DBT-based residential programs and we are just waiting to hear back from them.  At that point we will set up interviews for us to ask any of our questions or about any of our concerns and also for them to get to know DD a little bit and see if they want to accept her into the program.  meanwhile, she is hard at work trying to figure out how to blow the interview... .

[Elbry]

We had a team meeting last Thursday and everyone agreed DD15 definitely needs to go to Residential for a while.  So of course DD de-compensated.  Has refused to go to school since, has refused to do any of her chores, is extremely irritable, her mood is just so explosive you can't even look at her.  Is sleeping and/or just laying in bed all the time.

Then last night we were driving home from DBT group and she was having a meltdown because her 4-yr old nephew was talking.  JUST talking. That's it.  And she was that irritated.  I asked her where she was at.  Someone here suggested a green/yellow/red system to me and we have been using it, she tells me every day where she is at.  Green is fine, yellow is she is having some thoughts but is safe and red is she is not safe and needs help.  She said she didn't know if she was yellow or red.  I asked if she wanted to hurt herself... .yes.  Did she want to kill herself... .yes.   Was she safe at home... .no.   So we got home and I talked to her some more and I asked her if she needed to go somewhere for a few days to be safe and she said yes.  That is HUGE progress!  I know the whole scenario is terrible, my daughter wanting to hurt herself, but her communicating and agreeing to help is such a positive change it made me happy on some level even though my heart was breaking again. 

I called the Crisis unit which is a step-down from full hospitalization and they agreed to take her so off we went.  The good thing about it is that it is only one town over.  When we got there she showed me her arms, she's cut up pretty badly, deeper than she normally cuts.  She wouldn't show me her legs because she said I would freak out but she agreed to show staff after I left.  So they must be bad.  She tends to write words in her legs like "fat" and "worthless" and it really upsets me. 

Right now she is in a safe place.  We have submitted apps to DBT-based residential programs and we are just waiting to hear back from them.  At that point we will set up interviews for us to ask any of our questions or about any of our concerns and also for them to get to know DD a little bit and see if they want to accept her into the program.  meanwhile, she is hard at work trying to figure out how to blow the interview... .

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rapt Reader]

Elbry, I'm so sorry that this is happening, but you are certainly right about it being a positive step that she was honest with you and now in the process of getting help for her troubles... .

Godspeed with this, and hang in there 

[Being Mindful]

Hi Elbry, I'm so glad the red, green, yellow, light worked for you and your daughter! And, I'm so sorry you are facing residential and that your d. is in care right now, but I am so dang proud of you and your d. in what transpired with communication and getting her to a safe place. Please keep us posted.