very confusing behavior. need advise please

[hurting300]

My ex disappeared while I was at work six months ago without warning... she's been giving me the silent treatment since. No calls, texts or emails. Why would she deactivate her Facebook then reactivate once or twice a month? Especially at times she knows I'll be online. Why not just block ME? She is only online ten minutes tops! Then she switches it off. I feel as though she wants a message but I'm not doing it first. What do you guys think?

[AlwaysForgiving]

My exBPDgf went through a period where she would activate and deactivate her FB account all the time. We were talking at the time and asked her about that and she said that it was depressing seeing everybody so happy. I think she was feeling a lot of shame at the time and didn't want to keep her profile up. So, she would just log on occasionally to check on things (Yes, I'm sure she checks your profile out the short time she's on there).

When she got a new bf, she kept her account active and used it to plaster pictures of them all over her page.

[hurting300]

My exBPDgf went through a period where she would activate and deactivate her FB account all the time. We were talking at the time and asked her about that and she said that it was depressing seeing everybody so happy. I think she was feeling a lot of shame at the time and didn't want to keep her profile up. So, she would just log on occasionally to check on things (Yes, I'm sure she checks your profile out the short time she's on there).

When she got a new bf, she kept her account active and used it to plaster pictures of them all over her page.

What's so weird, is i have two  Facebook accounts, I'm on her friends list with one of them but I don't use it... so checked out her page. She STILL has all the (I love my boyfriend) stuff up. Why won't she delete it . It's crazy.

[camuse]

MIne deactivated her FB a few weeks back - I can see in my blocked list.

Great, now no chance to stalk her! But I wonder why - she said once, if you block me you will have power over me. Maybe she cannot handle that.

Or maybe there was another reason not related to me.

Either way, it's great for me

I also had a fake friend request after going NC. I know it would have driven her insane not knowing what I was up to. But by now, maybe she has forgotten me. I have no idea.

[hurting300]

Mine deactivated so I couldn't block her I just know it. She brutally left me now she can deal.

[Rise]

hurting,

You're the only one that knows your ex here, and you're the only one that is going to know the most likely reasons behind her actions. So what I'm saying isn't the gospel truth, and could be just as right or wrong as any other theory. But have you considered the possibility that what she's doing isn't actually about you? It is way too easy to project our own feeling onto the actions of others (I've certainly done my share of it). We get so wrapped up with the drama going on with our exes that we naturally assume they are as well. Sometimes they are, often they move on much quicker than we do. Maybe there's some other reason she's doing this. I know it seems like she's reactivating solely at times you're on fb, but there could be plenty of other times she does it when you don't know because you aren't on. You're never going to know for sure without talking to her, which given the circumstances probably isn't the best idea. Maybe next time she does pop back up you just block her? If you don't see when she does or doesn't have an active account, maybe you won't have to worry about her motivations?

Best luck,

Rise

[Indyan]

Why don't you try to talk to her? What have you got to lose?

Maybe she hoped you'd run after her when she ran away?

[hurting300]

Why don't you try to talk to her? What have you got to lose?

Maybe she hoped you'd run after her when she ran away?

I don't know where she is. Believe me I want to see her but I have no clue. I'm not giving that monster the courtesy of ignoring me. Next time i see her will be in a court room.

[hurting300]

hurting,

You're the only one that knows your ex here, and you're the only one that is going to know the most likely reasons behind her actions. So what I'm saying isn't the gospel truth, and could be just as right or wrong as any other theory. But have you considered the possibility that what she's doing isn't actually about you? It is way too easy to project our own feeling onto the actions of others (I've certainly done my share of it). We get so wrapped up with the drama going on with our exes that we naturally assume they are as well. Sometimes they are, often they move on much quicker than we do. Maybe there's some other reason she's doing this. I know it seems like she's reactivating solely at times you're on fb, but there could be plenty of other times she does it when you don't know because you aren't on. You're never going to know for sure without talking to her, which given the circumstances probably isn't the best idea. Maybe next time she does pop back up you just block her? If you don't see when she does or doesn't have an active account, maybe you won't have to worry about her motivations?

Best luck,

Rise

Do I really know her? Or was it all fake? Why don't she just block me since she hates me so much? And her actions are very convenient wouldn't you say? The drive by's the fake Facebook pages requesting me...

[Indyan]

I don't know where she is. Believe me I want to see her but I have no clue. I'm not giving that monster the courtesy of ignoring me. Next time i see her will be in a court room.

I meant on Facebook.

[hurting300]

I don't know where she is. Believe me I want to see her but I have no clue. I'm not giving that monster the courtesy of ignoring me. Next time i see her will be in a court room.

I meant on Facebook.

yeah I know... .I'm sorry but I just can't give her that. Her illness is legally not an excuse. She will have to contact me first. I think she wants too, but might be to scared.

[Indyan]

yeah I know... .I'm sorry but I just can't give her that. Her illness is legally not an excuse. She will have to contact me first. I think she wants too, but might be to scared.

I don't get it, sorry. Can you explain?

[hurting300]

yeah I know... .I'm sorry but I just can't give her that. Her illness is legally not an excuse. She will have to contact me first. I think she wants too, but might be to scared.

I don't get it, sorry. Can you explain?

I can't give her the prize Of being able to ignore me again. It's not my job to reach out. Now I do think she is working up to contact. And I'll talk to her calmly when she does. For me to pat her hand and take blame and reach out is as crazy as she is. She has no excuse.

[going places]

My ex disappeared while I was at work six months ago without warning... she's been giving me the silent treatment since. No calls, texts or emails. Why would she deactivate her Facebook then reactivate once or twice a month? Especially at times she knows I'll be online. Why not just block ME? She is only online ten minutes tops! Then she switches it off. I feel as though she wants a message but I'm not doing it first. What do you guys think?

I "think" you should block her so that you are not tempted to "see" and "question" why she does what she does.

Who cares.

Move on, and don't look back.

It's a game, to snare you... .do not fall for the tricks.

Block her.

[hurting300]

My ex disappeared while I was at work six months ago without warning... she's been giving me the silent treatment since. No calls, texts or emails. Why would she deactivate her Facebook then reactivate once or twice a month? Especially at times she knows I'll be online. Why not just block ME? She is only online ten minutes tops! Then she switches it off. I feel as though she wants a message but I'm not doing it first. What do you guys think?

I "think" you should block her so that you are not tempted to "see" and "question" why she does what she does.

Who cares.

Move on, and don't look back.

It's a game, to snare you... .do not fall for the tricks.

Block her.

yeah but if I block her she'll know I'm paying attention... I'm not messaging her.

[Indyan]

Move on, and don't look back.

Move on and don't look back? With a baby there? And with no explanation whatsoever, no closure of any kind? That's just impossible!

[Indyan]

yeah but if I block her she'll know I'm paying attention... I'm not messaging her.

Sorry to say but I find your behaviour rather childish. I mean, the girl RAN AWAY WITH YOUR BABY!

And all you do is "not give her the satisfation of making the first step"?

Are you serious?

She deserves that you talk to her, even stalk her. Some people would even threaten her.

I didn't say to make friends ok? But staying there passively while she pops up on FB is just not possible for me.

[hurting300]

yeah but if I block her she'll know I'm paying attention... I'm not messaging her.

Sorry to say but I find your behaviour rather childish. I mean, the girl RAN AWAY WITH YOUR BABY!

And all you do is "not give her the satisfation of making the first step"?

Are you serious?

She deserves that you talk to her, even stalk her. Some people would even threaten her.

I didn't say to make friends ok? But staying there passively while she pops up on FB is just not possible for me.

I totally agree with you. I did look for her every day for four months even called the grandma. But my attorney's and the doctors highly advised me not to do anything because of her nature. By not messaging her they are telling me she'll come around. Believe me I want her to pay.

[Indyan]

even called the grandma.

And... .?

[hurting300]

even called the grandma.

And... .?

she didn't pick up. I left a message and she didn't return my call. Gotta love these church goers that stab you. I've got to play this right. It's hard. I do still cry at times but I'm tough and smarter than her... I will win.

[Indyan]

she didn't pick up. I left a message and she didn't return my call.

Why don't you call again and again? Or pay her a visit?

[hurting300]

she didn't pick up. I left a message and she didn't return my call.

Why don't you call again and again? Or pay her a visit?

because these people love drama. One call to the cops I'd lose my case. That's why I was advised to stay low. Make her wonder why your not coming after her. She is starting to appear more and more. Soon hopefully she'll call or text or meet. That's when we'll make our move. Does that make sense?