advice i give, that i should take myself

[BrokenFamily]

I've cried over and over and the end result is always me feeling horrible while she is seemingly having the time of her life. What good will come of your tears ? Why blame yourself for someone else problem and why would you want a relationship with anyone capable of hurting you this badly who is with someone new ? My BPD ex made up total and complete lies about me, called me names, treated me horrible and left me, our daughter and our happy life together for a new guy the next day. Its painful, I lost my job , my sanity and all I loved in life but why? Because I allowed her problem to negatively effect my life. I put her needs before mine for almost 4 years and received only pain in return. It's been 2 months since the breakup, our daughter is going thru separation anxiety, I'm an emotional mess facing losing my house and she's out having the time of her life. I urge you and (myself)to worry about yourself and no her anymore, we both need to realize a hurting ego is all in the mind and can only effective you in a negative way if we allow it. No contact is a great idea for us both because only then will they get a chance to actually appreciate the positive about you once the negative fighting and pain is over. This is their way of coping and the more you are persistent the more pain you'll both have. If you do ever contact her or she contacts you I suggest keeping it short always happy and up beat tell jokes and expect nothing in return. If you leave it on a happy note that's all she can remember and you'll even feel better about it , but be careful she could seem in a great mood texting back regularly one day and completely ingnore or be mean and spiteful to you the next ; this will create an emotional vacuum and have you feeling like the day you broke up again feeling horrible. Trying to understand her though process will only drive you crazy , loving someone who obviously no longer loves you or is unwilling to express it is just asking for more and more pain and disappointment.