Do they aspire for healthy relationships?

[Craydar]

In the beginning do they genuinely want a relationship to work? Can they even think that way? Or is it just like a teenage crush where they simply start idolizing someone, only to fall into their usual pattern of dysfunction time and time again?

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[maxsterling]

Well, each pwBPD is different, so probably generalizing here won't be particularly helpful.

But in my experience, the 3 BPD I have dealt with in my life have all aspired to healthy relationships.  They just don't understand what a healthy relationship is, and seem incapable of learning that. 

[hope2727]

Mine wanted a healthy relationship he just had a skewed idea of what that was. He was always telling me he wanted to be in love like the first day all the time. Ummmm that is not realistic. Anyway I know he wants to stop hurting. He said it all the time. He just doesn't know how. Poor bugger.

[Climbmountains91]

Heres my exBPD insight - https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=236866.msg12527624#msg12527624