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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Why do BPD women all have physical health issues?  (Read 458 times)
worndown99

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« on: December 12, 2014, 07:48:18 AM »

This is something that doesn't make sense to me.

I've read that Borderlines  women almost always have physical health issues and ALOT of people have noticed this phenomenon  as well in their BPD partners.  Looking back  My exBPDgf had carpal tunnel and kidney issues. She  was always getting injured in mysterious ways. Hell she dislocated her shoulder on a roller coaster and showed up on the first date in a cast. Who the hell dislocates their shoulder on a roller coaster? All these things a Coincidence? I think not.

I just don't see how this is connected to a person with abandonment fears with the emotional development of a 4 year old. What is the link between physical health issues and people with BPD?

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maxen
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« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2014, 08:11:09 AM »

hi worndown. i think it's impossible to say that all pwBPD have health problems. my wife has a weight problem that is connected with her BPD, but her mother (who surely also has it) is very trim, and so far as i ever heard has no particular physical issues (emotional issues is another story!). there are common traits that characterize BPD, and according to DSM a person must have 5 of 9 traits to be diagnosed with it. some clever one (i'm no good at math) once calculated how many different combinations that could give. my point being that they're individuals too. not every person with BPD will share my wife's taste for american folk art, for example.

what were your gf's behavior traits?

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worndown99

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« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2014, 09:25:15 AM »

hi worndown. i think it's impossible to say that all pwBPD have health problems. my wife has a weight problem that is connected with her BPD, but her mother (who surely also has it) is very trim, and so far as i ever heard has no particular physical issues (emotional issues is another story!). there are common traits that characterize BPD, and according to DSM a person must have 5 of 9 traits to be diagnosed with it. some clever one (i'm no good at math) once calculated how many different combinations that could give. my point being that they're individuals too. not every person with BPD will share my wife's taste for american folk art, for example.

what were your gf's behavior traits?

1. She told me she loved me within the first few dates .  I knew something was "off" but I had no knowledge off BPD at the time, plus  she was attractive and liked me so  I went along with it.

2. She would never stop taking about me to her friends and family in the idealization phase.   almost to the point of obsession

3. The first time I ever hung up the phone on her about a month into the relationship  she freaked out and left me a voicemail saying she was going to the hospital despite nothing being wrong with her

4. I know for fact her   mother abused her when she was very young.  I also know Her stepfather killed himself and her biological father walked out on  her

5. She spoke  about marriage/kids within the first two 1 1/2 months  of knowing her and tried to get pregnant with me several times.

6. Used to complain about how depressed she was and how all I Was doing was adding more  "loneliness"  every tie we fought

7. She  admitted she had  an  emotional affair with a married man before she met me and enjoyed going for emotionally unavailable men.

8. Tried to isolate me from my friends, stalked me, accused me of cheating, and  would pick fights out of nowhere every time the relationship seemed to be going smooth.

9. compulsive spending and she stole money from me on several occasions

10. she was extremely smooth around people , flirtatious, and manipulative.

11. Even after the relationship was over she tried making me feel guilty by saying that  I was verbally abusive and "let her get away"  (Im thinking BPD with a touch of NPD perhaps?)

12. Loved me one day, hated me the next day, she was EXTREMELY emotional and would cry over something as small as a simple joke.

13. Hardly ever  admitted she was wrong.

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enlighten me
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« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2014, 11:07:01 AM »

Hi worndown. I believe there is a link to some of the ailments. The mind is an incredible thing. It can make us ill. I believe that all personality dissorders have an affected area of tihe brain relevant to the dissorder. These areas produce/ regits a possibility.late hormones and other chemoicals. An abudance of cortisol will lead to a lot of the ailments we see. One poster on here was going blind due to too much cortisol caused by the stress of a BPD relationship. Thyroid can cause bi polar and low cortisol leaves people more prone to PTSD.

With BPD I believe there is a hormone imbalance. It has been shown that pwBPD have low oxytocin the bonding hormone. Theres no medical research to back this up as a complete theory but If you research hormones and there effects you will see that I
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Meadowslark
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« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2014, 11:23:32 AM »

My uBPDsister has a plethora of physical ailments. First it was her wrists and she had braces for them for a while and then suddenly stopped using them. She had Restless Leg Syndrome (which I suspect was a lie) for a while and now it's gone. Right now her "health problem" is in her eyes - she claims she has some kind of degenerative eye disease that's hereditary despite not one person in the family having it. With the eye thing, it was my fault initially and she said I hit her in the head when she was young and that caused the eye problem. Now it's hereditary, but regardless, it's still my fault?

I agree with enlighten me - the mind is a very powerful thing. I think they genuinely believe they have these ailments. Either that or they make stuff up in order to gain sympathy because, in my experience, the problems aren't consistent. uBPDsis can't seem to keep her story straight when it comes to her "ailments".
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worndown99

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« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2014, 05:21:31 PM »

Hi worndown. I believe there is a link to some of the ailments. The mind is an incredible thing. It can make us ill. I believe that all personality dissorders have an affected area of tihe brain relevant to the dissorder. These areas produce/ regits a possibility.late hormones and other chemoicals. An abudance of cortisol will lead to a lot of the ailments we see. One poster on here was going blind due to too much cortisol caused by the stress of a BPD relationship. Thyroid can cause bi polar and low cortisol leaves people more prone to PTSD.

With BPD I believe there is a hormone imbalance. It has been shown that pwBPD have low oxytocin the bonding hormone. Theres no medical research to back this up as a complete theory but If you research hormones and there effects you will see that I

AHH, could this explain why BPD women are more likely to cheat? Unlike most women I notice that my exBPD gf would rarely cuddle/kiss after sex unlike 99% of other women I have been with.
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enlighten me
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3289



« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2014, 06:13:39 PM »

Hi worndown. I believe there is a link to some of the ailments. The mind is an incredible thing. It can make us ill. I believe that all personality dissorders have an affected area of tihe brain relevant to the dissorder. These areas produce/ regits a possibility.late hormones and other chemoicals. An abudance of cortisol will lead to a lot of the ailments we see. One poster on here was going blind due to too much cortisol caused by the stress of a BPD relationship. Thyroid can cause bi polar and low cortisol leaves people more prone to PTSD.

With BPD I believe there is a hormone imbalance. It has been shown that pwBPD have low oxytocin the bonding hormone. Theres no medical research to back this up as a complete theory but If you research hormones and there effects you will see that I

oxytocin is also released during orgasm so that could explain high sex drive and cheating.

AHH, could this explain why BPD women are more likely to cheat? Unlike most women I notice that my exBPD gf would rarely cuddle/kiss after sex unlike 99% of other women I have been with.

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