BPD must run in my family

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello.

I have been reading this site for awhile but never engaged. I believe my mother has BPD and although we have not had personal contact for at least 7 years, I still feel effected by her. I have been in therapy for many years and have made great progress but there seems to always be something pulling me back from time to time. It is hard to explain to others why I don't speak to my own mother. I choose not to tell anyone I know expect very close friends and I only tell them that my mother has a mental problem that makes her impossible to deal with. My grandmother is in assisted living and my mother is the only family member that lives near her. I speak with her on the phone often and have to hear how my mother terrorizes my grandmother since she is dependent on her. It is hard to hear about it even though it is not happening to me anymore. I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and have occasional panic attacks. I control them with exercise, meditation and diet usually but lately they have been coming back. I have also been having night terrors again.

Not sure why I am telling all this but I guess this is the place to share.

Warm Regards,

Sinclair

[Sinclair]

Hello.

I have been reading this site for awhile but never engaged. I believe my mother has BPD and although we have not had personal contact for at least 7 years, I still feel effected by her. I have been in therapy for many years and have made great progress but there seems to always be something pulling me back from time to time. It is hard to explain to others why I don't speak to my own mother. I choose not to tell anyone I know expect very close friends and I only tell them that my mother has a mental problem that makes her impossible to deal with. My grandmother is in assisted living and my mother is the only family member that lives near her. I speak with her on the phone often and have to hear how my mother terrorizes my grandmother since she is dependent on her. It is hard to hear about it even though it is not happening to me anymore. I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and have occasional panic attacks. I control them with exercise, meditation and diet usually but lately they have been coming back. I have also been having night terrors again.

Not sure why I am telling all this but I guess this is the place to share.

Warm Regards,

Sinclair

[Kwamina]

Hi Sinclair

Not sure why I am telling all this but I guess this is the place to share.

Good guess! This definitely is the place to share these kind of things. Having a parent with BPD can have an enormous impact on children even in their adult lives. So I totally understand why you still are feeling the effects of how she treated you, even after 7 years with no personal contact.

I am glad though that you do feel like your therapy has helped you to make great progress. For many of us it's a process of ups and downs and no matter how many years have passed, it often still takes a lot of work to deal with these things.

Knowing that your grandmother is being treated like this by your mother must be very difficult for you.

You believe your mother has BPD, what specific behaviors of her have led you to this conclusion? Did she always behave like this or would you say there was a particular turning point after which she got worse?

I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and have occasional panic attacks. I control them with exercise, meditation and diet usually but lately they have been coming back. I have also been having night terrors again.

Did anything happen recently that might be related to your current bouts of anxiety and night terrors? Perhaps something you discussed in therapy or something that happened in your life? Do you think the holiday season might have something to do with it? This time of year causes a lot of stress for many of our members, partly because of dread for what may come but also because a lot of old painful memories come to the surface.

[clljhns]

Hi Sinclair,

I want to join in the welcome with Kwamina and tell you how glad that I am you have found the site!

I am so sorry that your grandmother is this situation with your mom. I know this must cause you a great deal of worry. I think Kwamina asked some great questions about your mom and what might have occurred recently that triggered the night terrors and increased anxiety.

Look forward to hearing from you!