help... adult daughter with BPD/substance abuse

[nanaanna1]

For years we knew our adult daughter had mental health issues but she was never diagnosed correctly... .bi-polar, addictive personality, etc. and now she has lost everything in her life. Now that she has been properly diagnosed we are stunned.  She shows every trait of being BPD and my husband and I (especially me) can never seem to say or do the right thing.  She is currently in a co-occurring treatment center for 28 days and although she is getting the help she needs for drug abuse she will have to wait until she gets out to get in with a good therapist and support group.  She has nowhere to live, no car, no job and we live in different states.  She does have a 12 yr old son who lives with his dad and step-mom and she loves him dearly so she really wants to get "healthy", but I really don't know what to do. Anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is that neither my husband nor I know what to do for her right now. Help!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Dear nanaanna1,

So good to see you here!  We are glad you joined the site and are reaching out for some support and answers.

In short, the best thing you can do for your daughter while she is in treatment and going forward from there into therapy is to learn the skills that best support her while also taking care of yourself.

It is very important to the therapeutic process for your daughter to have the support of her family.

The tools and lessons links at the side of the page are filled with info to get you started. 

What kind of relationship do you have with your daughter?  Are you in communication/contact with her while she is in treatment?

lbj