MD, boundaries are really important. Boundaries protect you and not change her. We have two choices - we either suck it up and take the calls or we step back and allow our parents to be accountable and let them self soothe rather than calling on you to do it for them.
Sounds simple right? Well no! Often when we step back to take care of ourselves and our partners/kids it can bring about fear, obligation and guilt. Fear of repercussions (because we knew as kids if we didn't do what they wanted we were punished/devalued), obligated to fix the problem for them (because we have become accustomed as kids to be the little adults to always be available for our ill parent) and guilt (for not being there to fix and for taking time for ourselves).
So my friend, as simple as it sounds you do have two choices - make it a choice to protect you and your family. You deserve peace but you are the only one who can do that for you. Once you have made the decision start to look at how you maybe contributing by being an enabler to her behaviour. Over to the right is a list of 1-21. I'm a firm believer of following that path to free yourself of your childhood conditioning. You are not that little kid anymore MD - you are an adult with adult privileges and saying No is your right.
Then its possible to step back from the drama and not engage
