Home Vacant-Payments Ceased-PLEASE ADVISE

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I have no idea what to do next.  The ex stopped paying the mortgage (as predicted), moved out, and we're headed for foreclosure.  Aren't there any other options to get my name off this house?  Neither of us are refinancing, it is up for sale, both our names are on the mortgage and deed... .but there's little wiggle room in sale price/owed…and with missed mortgage payments racking up, I know the foreclosure process will be set into motion soon. 

Is a Short Sale better than Foreclosure?  The mortgage rep said a short sale will be impossible without documentation from BOTH of us. 

The mortgage company wants to know if the house is vacant?  Do I tell them it is?  They also say nothing can be processed to review for a potential Short Sale unless they know which of us was "awarded the home"?  I don't think either of us were "awarded" the home.  Both our names are on the mortgage, period.  My divorce settlement simply states that my ex will continue to pay the mortgage and makes moves to get the home sold.

I've been headed here for a while and would appreciate anyone who can chime in.

[Hope0807]

I have no idea what to do next.  The ex stopped paying the mortgage (as predicted), moved out, and we're headed for foreclosure.  Aren't there any other options to get my name off this house?  Neither of us are refinancing, it is up for sale, both our names are on the mortgage and deed... .but there's little wiggle room in sale price/owed…and with missed mortgage payments racking up, I know the foreclosure process will be set into motion soon. 

Is a Short Sale better than Foreclosure?  The mortgage rep said a short sale will be impossible without documentation from BOTH of us. 

The mortgage company wants to know if the house is vacant?  Do I tell them it is?  They also say nothing can be processed to review for a potential Short Sale unless they know which of us was "awarded the home"?  I don't think either of us were "awarded" the home.  Both our names are on the mortgage, period.  My divorce settlement simply states that my ex will continue to pay the mortgage and makes moves to get the home sold.

I've been headed here for a while and would appreciate anyone who can chime in.

[david]

You need to talk to a real estate attorney to understand the legal aspects.

[Panda39]

Have you talked to the mortgage company about the divorce settlement?  Can you get some kind of emergency hearing for contempt of the divorce settlement?  I agree with david talk with an attorney.

[maxen]

The ex stopped paying the mortgage (as predicted), moved out, and we're headed for foreclosure.  Aren't there any other options to get my name off this house?  Neither of us are refinancing, it is up for sale, both our names are on the mortgage and deed

yes, talk to a r/e lawyer asap. my reaction is to inquire as to whether you can put your share in escrow, and that would show who's not coming through. i doubt you can get your name off, if you both signed the original documents; but i'm no expert.

[Hope0807]

The ex was the home owner prior to my moving in.  He was in foreclosure THEN      and I believed his explanation about WHY and saved him then.  Rescuer No More!  My name was added to the mortgage with the modification process at that time…all rainbows, butterflies and big dreams of good things to come, then... .BUT I don't think any of that offers me any consolation now.  Agreed?

I'm betting if we are both on the mortgage (bank stuff) and deed…we are both screwed.  He doesn't seem to care.  He's collecting Workman's Comp or Disability Ins. last I knew and continues to operate a business without reporting any of his cash income from it. 

I'm in the process of reaching out to a Real Estate Attorney as you all suggest here (Thank You!) but I'm completely financially devastated by what he's put me through and the need to leave so abruptly.  Thank god I have my career and employment, but I am clawing my way through this to survive.  I got a personal loan to pay for the divorce.  It's final.  I'm repaying that debt now, and that lawyer who handled my divorce will undoubtedly draw up new fees to assist in these new issues beyond the divorce and I simply don't have any more money.  So…I'm educating myself as best, and as quickly as I can reading everything I can online.

Here are a few questions for starters:

1.  Do I tell the mortgage co. that the home is empty? (I've read mixed reviews on this issue)

2.  The home is listed…Do I tell the listing agent that mortgage payments have stopped?

3.  Is filing for bankruptcy an automatic necessity if foreclosure is unavoidable?

4.  How can a Deed in Lieu of Foreclosure application be reviewed if I cannot get cooperation from the co-homeowner?

5.  Can the listing agent be a resource for Short Sale or any other options or do I completely leave them out of this?

Thank you all so much for your input thus far.  If you think of anything, I'm all ears. 

The ex stopped paying the mortgage (as predicted), moved out, and we're headed for foreclosure.  Aren't there any other options to get my name off this house?  Neither of us are refinancing, it is up for sale, both our names are on the mortgage and deed

yes, talk to a r/e lawyer asap. my reaction is to inquire as to whether you can put your share in escrow, and that would show who's not coming through. i doubt you can get your name off, if you both signed the original documents; but i'm no expert.

[maxen]

I'm betting if we are both on the mortgage (bank stuff) and deed…we are both screwed.  He doesn't seem to care.  He's collecting Workman's Comp or Disability Ins. last I knew and continues to operate a business without reporting any of his cash income from it. 

well he should care, b/c whatever you're facing, he's facing.

can he earn from working, even if it's his business, if he's on disability? i know you're tight financially, but is there the option of putting a p.i. on him, or can you threaten to do discovery into his expenditures (some of which must be by check or cc) against what he declares is his income? i may be stretching here. 

[livednlearned]

I worked with a real estate attorney, and paid him separately from my divorce/family law attorney. I'm really glad I did. You don't want a family law attorney counseling you on real estate, especially with regard to foreclosure/short sale. Real estate law seems to be pretty complex.

I didn't have to pay my real estate attorney a retainer. I don't know if that's normal or not. And he was excellent. Without him, I would've ended up being responsible for $35K in a home equity that was no longer attached to a home. I think I ended up paying $700 all total for his help. Even just a consultation will help you figure out what to do next, and that may run you as much as $100.

[Hope0807]

maxen,

Love and appreciate you ideas, thanks!  Yes, he should care but he doesn't.  He blows money like it's water.  Mine leans heavily toward ASPD.  Yep, a P.I. would be great, but if I take the initiative to do anything that gets him in trouble with the law (he has a prior), I fear his retaliation against me.  A PI isn't even necessary as far as defiance of his workman's comp/injury case…he posts everything on social media.  One would think he'd been taken in for fraud already, but nope.  He processes some cc payments and some check payments all made out to "Cash" or his name, the rest is actual cash.  I've been waiting for those transactions to catch up with him, as well as the fact that he's collecting workman's comp for an injury while working in a fairly physical capacity…but it's not catching up with him.  I also have evidence that he's involved in the sale and use of drugs…but am terrified for him to find out I know that as well.  "Threatening" him, whether it comes from me or from a legal entity is just so dangerous…but I believe you have a point and maybe it has to be done to some extent I guess to get things to a somewhat right and fair place here, I don't know.  Ugggggh!

I'm betting if we are both on the mortgage (bank stuff) and deed…we are both screwed.  He doesn't seem to care.  He's collecting Workman's Comp or Disability Ins. last I knew and continues to operate a business without reporting any of his cash income from it. 

well he should care, b/c whatever you're facing, he's facing.

can he earn from working, even if it's his business, if he's on disability? i know you're tight financially, but is there the option of putting a p.i. on him, or can you threaten to do discovery into his expenditures (some of which must be by check or cc) against what he declares is his income? i may be stretching here. 

[Hope0807]

Hey LnL,

What you wrote here brought me a huge sense of relief and hope.  I'll be sending some emails tomorrow or trying to make some calls on my breaks on Monday and this week.  Those fees you mentioned would be a godsend.  Thank you!

I worked with a real estate attorney, and paid him separately from my divorce/family law attorney. I'm really glad I did. You don't want a family law attorney counseling you on real estate, especially with regard to foreclosure/short sale. Real estate law seems to be pretty complex.

I didn't have to pay my real estate attorney a retainer. I don't know if that's normal or not. And he was excellent. Without him, I would've ended up being responsible for $35K in a home equity that was no longer attached to a home. I think I ended up paying $700 all total for his help. Even just a consultation will help you figure out what to do next, and that may run you as much as $100.

[ForeverDad]

Unless you have solid legal advise stating otherwise, I would warn against giving up ownership (such as with a quit-claim deed signed and filed) while you still have liability as mortgagee for the loan.  Simply stated, you don't want to lose all semblance of control and owe money on a property you no longer own.

[Hope0807]

ForeverDad,

You are saying a Quit Claim Deed will not alleviate my financial obligation to the mortgage debt, correct?  I THOUGHT that's what I read months ago but the mortgage co. rep seemed to be advising that if my legal document wording made the exH responsible for the mortgage payments, that a QCD may fully remove my obligation.  Ugh. 

Unless you have solid legal advise stating otherwise, I would warn against giving up ownership (such as with a quit-claim deed signed and filed) while you still have liability as mortgagee for the loan.  Simply stated, you don't want to lose all semblance of control and owe money on a property you no longer own.

[livednlearned]

I would be careful taking legal advice from the mortgage company -- my ex got a refi for a new mortgage, but that didn't include the home equity loan ($35K). When my real estate attorney say "Whoa, no way there" my ex said he would write some kind of legal document to indemnify me (I think that's the term he used) and the RE attorney said h3ll no.

You can have all the legal documents you want to try and protect you, but there are laws that could be more powerful than your drawn-up legal document.

Be really careful with real estate law and banks.

[Hope0807]

That is some awesome advice that I will definitely heed!  Totally makes sense, too, thanks!

I would be careful taking legal advice from the mortgage company -- my ex got a refi for a new mortgage, but that didn't include the home equity loan ($35K). When my real estate attorney say "Whoa, no way there" my ex said he would write some kind of legal document to indemnify me (I think that's the term he used) and the RE attorney said h3ll no.

You can have all the legal documents you want to try and protect you, but there are laws that could be more powerful than your drawn-up legal document.

Be really careful with real estate law and banks.

[ForeverDad]

Unless you have solid legal advise stating otherwise, I would warn against giving up ownership (such as with a quit-claim deed signed and filed) while you still have liability as mortgagee for the loan.  Simply stated, you don't want to lose all semblance of control and owe money on a property you no longer own.

ForeverDad,

You are saying a Quit Claim Deed will not alleviate my financial obligation to the mortgage debt, correct?  I THOUGHT that's what I read months ago but the mortgage co. rep seemed to be advising that if my legal document wording made the exH responsible for the mortgage payments, that a QCD may fully remove my obligation.  Ugh.

That's right, a QCD only says you are no longer an owner, it does not relieve you from any existing loans and liabilities.  In my case, I kept the house and my ex signed a QCD but it wasn't handed over and used until my refi package was completed and filed.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=218588.msg12383820#msg12383820

Review every aspect of your issues and options so that you keep, for as long as you can, Leverage to get compliance on other obligations.

[downwhim]

Hi Hope,

Yes, talk to a real estate attorney. Be honest with your real estate agent about payments. If you can go short sale it is better for you because you can keep the same agent and it will not affect your credit as badly as a foreclosure will. Your divorce attorney should know the answer as to what your decree says regarding the house disposal. If ex is not making payments that needs to be deducted if there are any assets left in your divorce settlement ( you should be credited).