after four years, its been almost six months no recycle for me

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

no more recycles I guess. I blocked her on FB delted her number... .I did unbocker her last week didnt go to the page, just saw the tiny profile pic... .funny, I know she knows I blocked her, but she hasnt blocked me. she is using a pic that is a pic I took of her as her profile photo, she didnt have it up when I blocked her many months ago. I had felt good for a while, lately it feels like some of the pain came back. I guess it's because she is really gone now, I kept thinking at some point she would force her way back into my life but she hasn't. I know thats good, it just feels like everything is fine with her. I just wanted her to want me back. She broke NC in oct with an email. I didnt respond as it was an email that had no questions in it. it was cryptic to the max. there was this undercurrent of hostility in it. She was looking behind my back for replacements before we were over. Apparently she was having trouble getting one . lets just say I found out a few guys spent a day with her and bailed. Stopped returning her calls, and she was really miffed about it. guess there are  a lot of guys who saw what I failed to see. I miss her though, and I know that means I must be ******* in the head too.   I dont really want her back, after all the pain she went through I wanted her to NEED me again so Icould put her in her place. Perhaps thats mean, but she took a toll on my heart. Sadly, she was the love of my life. fate is cruel.

[gonethistime]

no more recycles I guess. I blocked her on FB delted her number... .I did unbocker her last week didnt go to the page, just saw the tiny profile pic... .funny, I know she knows I blocked her, but she hasnt blocked me. she is using a pic that is a pic I took of her as her profile photo, she didnt have it up when I blocked her many months ago. I had felt good for a while, lately it feels like some of the pain came back. I guess it's because she is really gone now, I kept thinking at some point she would force her way back into my life but she hasn't. I know thats good, it just feels like everything is fine with her. I just wanted her to want me back. She broke NC in oct with an email. I didnt respond as it was an email that had no questions in it. it was cryptic to the max. there was this undercurrent of hostility in it. She was looking behind my back for replacements before we were over. Apparently she was having trouble getting one . lets just say I found out a few guys spent a day with her and bailed. Stopped returning her calls, and she was really miffed about it. guess there are  a lot of guys who saw what I failed to see. I miss her though, and I know that means I must be ******* in the head too.   I dont really want her back, after all the pain she went through I wanted her to NEED me again so Icould put her in her place. Perhaps thats mean, but she took a toll on my heart. Sadly, she was the love of my life. fate is cruel.

[Infared]

Maybe it would be productive to talk it through with a therapist?

[JRT]

according to the accounts that I have read about here, I wouldn't close the book on contact with her just yet... .

[FoolishMan]

according to the accounts that I have read about here, I wouldn't close the book on contact with her just yet... .

I would. It's not upto them, it's upto you. Why give power to someone who left you for another? It's upto us to reject them, even if they are out of our lives at this point.

[JRT]

according to the accounts that I have read about here, I wouldn't close the book on contact with her just yet... .

I would. It's not upto them, it's upto you. Why give power to someone who left you for another? It's upto us to reject them, even if they are out of our lives at this point.

\\

It up to you to/to not re-engage them... .contact can happen independent of your willingness,

[FoolishMan]

according to the accounts that I have read about here, I wouldn't close the book on contact with her just yet... .

I would. It's not upto them, it's upto you. Why give power to someone who left you for another? It's upto us to reject them, even if they are out of our lives at this point.

\\

It up to you to/to not re-engage them... .contact can happen independent of your willingness,

Delete before reading, block and zone out. Lies are malicious and of no positive value to me, being she has B/NPD I can expect her to tell me lies in order to get what she wants. Be it a chance to look at me , talk to me, beg me or reject me. As time goes on and these things happen it gets easier, indeed automatic to ignore and zone her out. I guess this is how she felt right after it ended