Items and Pets. Left Behind?

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

So my uBPDx abruptly left me saying we could be friends after she got her prescription of Amphetimines. This wasn't new. She abused them heavily.

During the first 6 weeks I had asked to explain herself and she only replied with leave me alone. I then become increasingly upset with her. I then asked her what she wanted to do with the Dog I got her. The dog lived with me and I didn't even want to get a dog until she could live with me to share the responsibility. Like other things in the relationship I didn't stand up to my boundaries because we were in a "good" place at the time. This dog was a stray that showed up at my sisters house and were over there for Easter dinner and she seemed really attached to him. After talking to the family I asked her if she wanted to take him home. She was incredibly excited and it made me happy to see her that way. The first two years she would come over when I was at worked and take him to the park and take care of him as a person should. We called him our "child" since we both weren't interested in kids this made us feel like a family... *cough* made me feel like a family. He is a handful sometimes but he was a stray and a puppy. She would be so happy with him sending me pics when she was at work about things like a sign that said something cute and had a dog that looked ours. She truly seemed like she loved him. as i write this I can already see this "relationship" is like her other ones.

I digress. So when I questioned her about what does she want to do with the dog she says "its not fair to him he needs another home". "I'll ask around" this put me in a bit of an anger. How is it not fair to him but not me? I pay for the food where he lives and take care of him everyday. My life is altered by her decisions. I never spoke to her again about it.


Items. She never asked for the plenty of cloths and items she left at the house, but after her telling me she's  seeing somebody else and he was in jail and the day she went to the hospital for ODing she came into my house and stole my roommates weed.

At some other point (probably first couple weeks after she left me, and before the new guy) she came in and only took her hair dryer and a dream catcher she left me. Cloths and items still over my house and room.

Then at some point maybe in the last month, i can't be 100% sure because it's small chance and I mean small chance I misplaced it, but she took a letter she wrote me that was sitting on my office desk that I came across and was going to put it away. I haven't thrown anything away. Just in a box in the attic.

I guess what I'm getting at is it common for them to leave items? Come back for certain things be sneaky about it, abandon other things besides the relationship.

Oh she also keeps wearing cloths that I bought her. So I couldn't believe it was because it reminded her of me.

Something I forgot.

What am I suppose to do with the dog? I love him dearly but it truly is hard on him. At times it's hard on me. He's a reminder and it's hard for me to go out  knowing I have to tend to him.

[groundbreaker]

So my uBPDx abruptly left me saying we could be friends after she got her prescription of Amphetimines. This wasn't new. She abused them heavily.

During the first 6 weeks I had asked to explain herself and she only replied with leave me alone. I then become increasingly upset with her. I then asked her what she wanted to do with the Dog I got her. The dog lived with me and I didn't even want to get a dog until she could live with me to share the responsibility. Like other things in the relationship I didn't stand up to my boundaries because we were in a "good" place at the time. This dog was a stray that showed up at my sisters house and were over there for Easter dinner and she seemed really attached to him. After talking to the family I asked her if she wanted to take him home. She was incredibly excited and it made me happy to see her that way. The first two years she would come over when I was at worked and take him to the park and take care of him as a person should. We called him our "child" since we both weren't interested in kids this made us feel like a family... *cough* made me feel like a family. He is a handful sometimes but he was a stray and a puppy. She would be so happy with him sending me pics when she was at work about things like a sign that said something cute and had a dog that looked ours. She truly seemed like she loved him. as i write this I can already see this "relationship" is like her other ones.

I digress. So when I questioned her about what does she want to do with the dog she says "its not fair to him he needs another home". "I'll ask around" this put me in a bit of an anger. How is it not fair to him but not me? I pay for the food where he lives and take care of him everyday. My life is altered by her decisions. I never spoke to her again about it.


Items. She never asked for the plenty of cloths and items she left at the house, but after her telling me she's  seeing somebody else and he was in jail and the day she went to the hospital for ODing she came into my house and stole my roommates weed.

At some other point (probably first couple weeks after she left me, and before the new guy) she came in and only took her hair dryer and a dream catcher she left me. Cloths and items still over my house and room.

Then at some point maybe in the last month, i can't be 100% sure because it's small chance and I mean small chance I misplaced it, but she took a letter she wrote me that was sitting on my office desk that I came across and was going to put it away. I haven't thrown anything away. Just in a box in the attic.

I guess what I'm getting at is it common for them to leave items? Come back for certain things be sneaky about it, abandon other things besides the relationship.

Oh she also keeps wearing cloths that I bought her. So I couldn't believe it was because it reminded her of me.

Something I forgot.

What am I suppose to do with the dog? I love him dearly but it truly is hard on him. At times it's hard on me. He's a reminder and it's hard for me to go out  knowing I have to tend to him.

[groundbreaker]

Something I forgot.

What am I suppose to do with the dog? I love him dearly but it truly is hard on him. At times it's hard on me. He's a reminder and it's hard for me to go out  knowing I have to tend to him.

[NYMike]

They leave stuff behind in case they need you again.

I am in this boat as we speak.After T today we figured it is an ''attachment'' for her.This can be used as an excuse to try and get back to me if she has no one else.This is a possible future ''recycle''.

I have about 60 days left legally to get this stuff out and end this attachment to me.

I am on high alert and watching all I do.

[groundbreaker]

Am I being to logical by saying that there is a subconscious effort to want to return? Do they actually want to be with that person, but then get into another relationship anyway? Are they premeditating a possible return just because? Even though you are painted black and the new person is painted white they still choose to have you on the side? Does this constitute the ability to love somebody even if it's only a point in time? Do they not also perma paint people black in their life outside of romantic relationships?

Or does she simple not care about those things and just says heck with it he can deal with it?

[ADecadeLost]

My ex took what she needed, but left the rest (as well as the dog).  It gave her a reason to maintain contact.  We have to anyways until the divorce is finalized, but it's obvious she sees it as a way back in.  Can't wait till she comes back and collects the rest of it.  I'll stay in a hotel that week.  But, no, she won't be getting the dog.

[imstronghere2]

Something I forgot.

What am I suppose to do with the dog? I love him dearly but it truly is hard on him. At times it's hard on me. He's a reminder and it's hard for me to go out  knowing I have to tend to him.

You take care of him and give him the love and attention he needs.   He'll be just fine if you do that.

My exwBPD after 22 years left me, our children (at the time D17 and S11), the 9 cats she HAD to have and her dog.

What did I do?  I shouldered the responsibility and kept going.  It's easier than you think because you've probably been taking care of the dog all along anyway.

Think about it.  I know I did.  So it wasn't a huge stretch to step it up.  It's actually easier now because we don't have her around to constantly complain at us about every little thing.

Yeah it's hard but it was A LOT harder with her.

Do what you must do though.   There are pet rescuers out there that can help you if you decide to adopt the dog out.

Good luck