I will spare all the details, I'm suffering a little bit today for reasons I can't explain.
It seems like people with BPD (even though the temporarily suffer internally) get away with a lot of crap they push on to people. They destroy people, and move on to next thing without a second thought, leaving a path of destruction with absolutely no guilt. There always seem to be a better resource available to them the next time around that will willingly bend over and take the beating. How do they have so many enablers?
My ex seems to be getting everything she wanted after we split (another big wedding a year after our divorce was finalized, bigger house, bigger diamond ring, more money from her husband). It makes me sick to think she - as lousy as she is - was not dealt a large amount of karma for who badly she treated me. It's as if she had all of her wishes granted.
I've done my part to move on and my life got better once she left - that is obvious. I remember having a huge amount of weight lifted from my shoulders once I told her I was done. But I'm wondering if it's wrong to feel this way and why I'm not letting go of my anger. I hate these feelings and I don't want to be that type of person. I really don't.
One of the lamest lines of wisdom is "living well is best revenge". Really? I can't feel that way at all. How can we really live "well" when you feel like justice is never being served?
Thoughts on this? Sorry for rambling.
Hey there,
sorry to hear your suffering.
I felt in the same way. Mine also kicked me out and decided to move on in 3 seconds. I think mine has a combination of NPD/BPD. He told me that I am not good enough for him, he will never marry me and so on... .(although it was even too early for me to think about the marriage issue) It hurted me.
I thought the world is crazy. He is the sick one but he is happy. I as NON-BP need to talk to my therapist right now to go through this hard period and pay for it.
But from the long-term perspective, it is a good thing for us, isn't it? I don't need to look at his face and judge whether he is in a good mood today. I will have a more healthy life. I don't need to hear his self-controversial words and try to figure out what he really means.
I asked myself what made me love him so much, although during the relationship, he said so many bad things to me. The reasons are as follows:
1. He approached me and opened his heart to me very quickly. He shared everything even his privacy with me at the very beginning. It made me feel, this person trusts me so much, i can't make him disappointed.
2. He was like a suffering child. He shared with me how bad the girls treated him in his childhood. I had strong sympathy for him. On the other Hand, he almost does not have any close friends. I thought why a good person deserve this. I SHOULD give him more care and love.
3. He depended on me and took a lot of my private time. Gradually, I did not have any time left for my own friends. Therefore, after he was gone, I felt uncomfortable and empty.
If they do not deal with their BPD/NPD problems, I don't think they will have a sucessful relationship and a happy life. (mine admitted that he is depressed inside) Have mercy on them. Be strong and take care of ourselves.
We can only see the surface. (Money, house... .) If we can see the happiness inside, I am sure you will feel much happier than she in the long-run. Because you are at least healthy. She isn't. What is more valuable than health?
