Angers got to run its course...

[christin5433]

I've been really trying to get to the place of acceptance and forgiveness because Im not in a place where I can spend to much time in anger and resentment . The thing Is I am angry ! I've got to let it happen And find a outlet to let it come out in a safe and healthy way. Crazy as it sounds I went outside tonight cussed and yelled out front to just allow myself this. I do live in a place I'm don't have close neighbors . I think I personally have internalized my anger for 4 years while in r/s and now I'm doing post r/s. I've even been non reactive to my ex in all situations ... .I wouldn't react to her provoking me. I felt at the time I didn't want her to have my power. Which I think was best . But I have had anger in a different way the way that is allowing myself to be angry. To release this inside. So will see if this screaming works as a new part of my plan to help myself. I read I pray I read I pray I go on this forum I stay home under the radar ... .Go to AA meetings several times a week . Does anyone struggle w this or do you have a outlet for your personal anger . The anger that has never seen the light of day.

[Michelle27]

I bottled my anger for a long time and only recently allowed it to come out.  Yes, it needed to come out and I'm glad it did.  To be honest, it scared me a lot but  I'm glad I got it out.  Bottling it wasn't healthy.

[downwhim]

I know I too have bottled up anger and I keep it stuffed. I try everyday to keep busy DOING and it is exhausting. Friends, dinner, movies, play, work,yard work and I go to the gym 5 days a week now. Not sure what will happen when I just can't keep going anymore. I am in a condo. I think they would commit me if I started to yell and get it all out. Not sure how this is all going to work out.

[Gayarump8]

NEVER keep it in . Are you still with her? I have let myself be angry over past 2 years, towards my BPD. I know everything about it and what I should do in this situation that situation, but dam it I am human and have emotions too! If she leaves because am honest or angry then so be it! Am prepared! Sounds like your distracting, you need to find something you like doing whilst just sitting and chill man you will burn out. Am learning to do this too

[christin5433]

I don't know why it's said undecided or studying I'm absolutely detached and do not want the r/s. I hid my anger n the r/s and I'm still doing it out side of r/s. I think I won't let myself be that angry Im actually an expert at keeping it in. It's coming out in my dreams and its affecting my sleep. It's also affects me at times where I feel its best I do go around people . I see it when I'm trying to keep it in the DL in front of my daughter I don't want her to see me angey but a small thing happens and I'm set off ... .This is cause I'm very angry at the ex and what I have learned thru b/u and just plain loss wo closure.  I think it's hard to want to get thru learn and try but the a anger I need to get this out.