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Skills we were never taught
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A 3 Minute Lesson
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Author Topic: Married 25 years to a Jekle and Hyde Things are getting worse need coping skill  (Read 435 times)
dmuheim

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 3


« on: February 16, 2015, 06:14:10 PM »

Hello, I'm looking for coping skills for myself and two children.  Husband is an Jekyll and Hyde.  He is always believing I'm cheating on him and I'm not.  Please provide advise.
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waverider
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7407


If YOU don't change, things will stay the same


« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2015, 02:28:50 AM »

 Welcome

You are in the right place.

First place to start is

HERE

Have a read and come back with any specific issues that strike a chord

Waverider
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  Reality is shared and open to debate, feelings are individual and real
EaglesJuju
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 1653



« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2015, 08:46:37 PM »

Hi Dmuheim, 

I would like to join Waverider and welcome you.  I understand how difficult it is to cope with a significant other whose behavior is so erratic.  Learning about the behavior of BPD is a great way to understand why your husband acts like Jekyll and Hyde.  Learning about BPD really helped me understand why and how my person with BPD (pwBPD) can dramatically change.  The core of the disorder is problematic emotional regulation. PwBPD have intense emotions/feelings and have a really hard time coping/regulation them.  Here is a link to help you get started. 

BPD: What is it? How can I tell?

Sharing your situation really helps with coping. You will find many members who have similar situations.

Perhaps you can share more of your story so we are able to help you better.

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"In order to take control of our lives and accomplish something of lasting value, sooner or later we need to Believe. We simply need to believe in the power that is within us, and use it." -Benjamin Hoff
Cat Familiar
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
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« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2015, 11:36:09 AM »

Please take a look at the lessons on the right side of this page. Learning more about BPD has helped my relationship go from extremely upsetting and frustrating to a place where I find it much easier to cope with the wide emotional swings my husband is capable of. What helped me most was to recognize when he was starting to get upset and to learn how not to make things worse. Keep posting--we want to hear more of your story.     
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“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
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