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Author Topic: Is not being able to finish things a BPD trait?  (Read 891 times)
OffRoad
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« on: April 17, 2015, 04:41:24 PM »

I am curious about this. My H has two issues when working on things, hobbies or chores, around the house.

1) He needs it to be "perfect" in his eyes.

2) He has a very hard time finishing something.

It's like if he finishes it, then he has to say he is satisfied with it. And I think it's the needing it to be "perfect" part that keeps him from finishing it. It seems like the needing it perfect would be a BPD thing (if it isn't perfect, it's defective, therefore he's defective type of thing).

Has anyone else seen this, and does anyone know if it is BPD related?

As an aside, he often sets himself up to be unable to finish something, as well.
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Mike-X
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« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2015, 05:32:50 PM »

My udxGF left many unfinished projects. Some things were just too physically demanding or beyond her technical skill-set.

She did finish a lot of projects, too. She was an excellent chef, had a good eye for decorating, kept up with the house including the yard work, etc.

She did have issues with perfection, too. She was a gifted artist but never felt that her work was good enough.

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maxsterling
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« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2015, 06:22:58 PM »

I think many people have problems with this.  But my wife definitely deals with this.  In her case, she is more likely to be all set to do something, then back out before she begins.  Her day planner is mostly white-out on top of white-out.  She cancels about 75% of what she plans to do. 
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Cat Familiar
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« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2015, 06:27:00 PM »

My xBPDh constantly bought stuff for projects he never started. It seemed like having the materials was an end in itself for him. He didn't like it when I did things because my work wasn't up to his standards, even though I suffer from perfectionism too.
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“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
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« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2015, 07:13:19 PM »

Not sure if its a BPD thing... .But mine definitely couldn't finish projects that she started... .she painted as a hobby and hadn't touched a project that she had started over the course of our ENTIRE r/s! She had ambitions like no one else, but in the end, it was all just ideas.
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