A Difficult Decision and in need of Help.

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi,

I've been with my girlfriend for the past 4 months, and things were going well. More recently I've been having major doubts about this relationship and I want to end things, or atleast give myself some time out. However, my girlfriend has BPD and I'm worried about what this breakup will do to her. She's had some really low moments since we've been seeing each other such as self-harming, suffering panic attacks, and often darker thoughts such as suicide. I care about her, deeply, so I've been struggling to bring myself to end it, because I really don't know what will happen to her. I want her to be okay moving on, but I don't want to be the catalyst for a downward spiral.

Any advice you have would be much appreciate.

C.

[OutlandMan]

Hi,

I've been with my girlfriend for the past 4 months, and things were going well. More recently I've been having major doubts about this relationship and I want to end things, or atleast give myself some time out. However, my girlfriend has BPD and I'm worried about what this breakup will do to her. She's had some really low moments since we've been seeing each other such as self-harming, suffering panic attacks, and often darker thoughts such as suicide. I care about her, deeply, so I've been struggling to bring myself to end it, because I really don't know what will happen to her. I want her to be okay moving on, but I don't want to be the catalyst for a downward spiral.

Any advice you have would be much appreciate.

C.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[123Phoebe]

Hi OutlandMan   Welcome to the boards.

Facing a decision like this can feel so hard, like the weight of the world is resting on our shoulders.

If a breakup is where you're headed, the Leaving Board might be a better fit for your needs:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=8.0

Also want to add, that if it's some time out that you're needing more than anything, there are communication tools provided in the Lessons here on the Staying board that will help ease what it is you're trying to convey to her; they're in Lesson 3.

Hang in there and please keep posting... .  The wonderful members of this forum can really relate to your struggles