Here for much needed support and understanding

[Noum]

Hi,

I'm joining this site to connect with others who can understand the intricacies of my ongoing experience with my parent. Recently became engaged and it's time for the border lion to come out in full force, so I'm hoping to mitigate the damage to my self and family by stay calm and centered by teaching out and staying connected to others who have similar situations. Thank you!

[Kwamina]

Hi Noum

Thanks for this introduction. I'd like to give you a warm welcome here  If you want to connect to others who know what it's like to have a BPD parent, I'd say you've definitely come to the right place

Congratulations on your engagement! You do seem worried about what's going to happen next. How has your BPD parent reacted to the news of you being engaged?

Has your parent been diagnosed with BPD and/or perhaps received any kind of treatment/therapy? What are the behaviors of your BPD parent that you find the most difficult to deal with?

[HappyChappy]

"Border lion" I like that. Welcome to the family. 

[Noum]

Hi Kwamina,

Thank you for your warm welcome and congratulations!

My BPD Parent reacted with anger and resentment. My fiance and I botched the announcement a little bit. It was a destination proposal and she was picking us up at the airport and we meant to surprise her, but w facebook n friends she found out from someone else just before we landed. Even though we explain that we were just trying to surprise her she refused to budge. She was hostile and rude. No hug. No congratulations. Never looked at the ring. Then later, right on que, an email with all kinds of twisted barbs.

I believe her therapists have diagnosed her, possibly BPD, but she states her diagnosis as bipolar II.

I find the walking on eggshells the hardest. When a big event happens, good or bad, it is a given she will turn it into an opportunity to be victimized. It is hard to always know that it is coming and that it is possible, but very unlikely that it can be prevented. It hurts that such intense rage towards me is just boiling there under the  surface and that at the biggest moments of my life my mother will always make a good thing less good or a bad thing worse.


Sigh... .

[Kwamina]

Hi again Noum

It was a destination proposal and she was picking us up at the airport and we meant to surprise her, but w facebook n friends she found out from someone else just before we landed.

It's unfortunate that she found out like this but that still doesn't give her the right to treat you this way.

I believe her therapists have diagnosed her, possibly BPD, but she states her diagnosis as bipolar II.

Is she still in therapy now? What kind of therapy did she get?

I find the walking on eggshells the hardest. When a big event happens, good or bad, it is a given she will turn it into an opportunity to be victimized. It is hard to always know that it is coming and that it is possible, but very unlikely that it can be prevented. It hurts that such intense rage towards me is just boiling there under the  surface and that at the biggest moments of my life my mother will always make a good thing less good or a bad thing worse.


Sigh... .

I understand where that sigh is coming from. Something that helps me is to not discuss anything personal and/or important with my mother. I try to keep my interactions with her superficial. It's unfortunate that it has to be like this with my mother, but I've found that in my case this works best if I want to protect my own well-being.