Troubling idea from my nine year old

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I picked up my S9 from school. This is how he recounts the day.

"I am going to slay the teacher and the police. I will become the kid president. And john (his buddy) will become high ranking military (chief). And Paul (another buddy) will become kids police chief. We will run the world." "I will beat up the stupid teacher, ... .and then slay the principal", ... .etc. Slaying the teacher is the theme he keeps repeating. He speaks more like a child's play than with any real malice. But it is getting hard for me to say this is harmless.

Turns out his teacher put him to time out this afternoon. He do not think he has done anything wrong to deserve this. From his description, it sounds like he was fooling around when he should be paying attention in class. He buddy John also got time out because he has broken other student's clay figure. He also do not believe John deserve this either. Therefore he wants to slay the teacher to help his friend. I ask what if John break your clay figure? He said he will slay the teacher so that John does not get time out. And he will simply rebuild the figure because it is just clay.

I don't know how far does it cross the line. Is it just boy's thing, an imagined annihilation like those cartoons played on the TV. Or is it some pathology I should be concern about? What bothers me is he has no reflection at all what he and his buddy might have done wrong that cause them the timeout. I worries me because he seems lacking a moral compass. How could he not feel guilty at all about his wrong doing?

In many ways, this reflect my struggles with maintaining order at home. I thought some simple rule like do beat up your younger brother should be self-evident. And yet he did it over and over again and has absolutely not consider he has done anything wrong (often he justify it because of some minor irritation from his brother). He also has very little respect of me as an authority or a referee.

I wonder if I should talk to a school counselor or child psychologists.

[half-life]

I picked up my S9 from school. This is how he recounts the day.

"I am going to slay the teacher and the police. I will become the kid president. And john (his buddy) will become high ranking military (chief). And Paul (another buddy) will become kids police chief. We will run the world." "I will beat up the stupid teacher, ... .and then slay the principal", ... .etc. Slaying the teacher is the theme he keeps repeating. He speaks more like a child's play than with any real malice. But it is getting hard for me to say this is harmless.

Turns out his teacher put him to time out this afternoon. He do not think he has done anything wrong to deserve this. From his description, it sounds like he was fooling around when he should be paying attention in class. He buddy John also got time out because he has broken other student's clay figure. He also do not believe John deserve this either. Therefore he wants to slay the teacher to help his friend. I ask what if John break your clay figure? He said he will slay the teacher so that John does not get time out. And he will simply rebuild the figure because it is just clay.

I don't know how far does it cross the line. Is it just boy's thing, an imagined annihilation like those cartoons played on the TV. Or is it some pathology I should be concern about? What bothers me is he has no reflection at all what he and his buddy might have done wrong that cause them the timeout. I worries me because he seems lacking a moral compass. How could he not feel guilty at all about his wrong doing?

In many ways, this reflect my struggles with maintaining order at home. I thought some simple rule like do beat up your younger brother should be self-evident. And yet he did it over and over again and has absolutely not consider he has done anything wrong (often he justify it because of some minor irritation from his brother). He also has very little respect of me as an authority or a referee.

I wonder if I should talk to a school counselor or child psychologists.

[Turkish]

What did you say too him? Whether or not it sounded malicious, it was. He was talking about murder, prison time etc... .9 is old enough to have those things explained.

[livednlearned]

There is an elevated risk of kids having issues when there is a BPD parent. I would take it as a warning shot that there is trouble ahead and get him in to see a child psychologist.

When S13 was 8, he stabbed another classmate in the chest with a pencil. I realize now he had no real coping skills. I was so busy trying to survive our home environment that S13 wasn't learning healthy emotional skills and how to manage difficult feelings. Your son may be in the same boat -- he may think "mom has all the power, she gets her way" therefore he tries out her behavior and realizes it works.

A good child psychologist will help you see the range of normal, and this kind of stuff, when it comes up in play therapy, will get some sunshine on it.

Start now while he's still relatively young, when you can reach him. It only gets harder as they get older.

[half-life]

My son is still playing this game like 2 days later. I think he and his buddies are envisioning this as a video game. They are demolishing the monster that is the teachers and authorities. He did minimized the use of the word slaying then.

What did you say too him? Whether or not it sounded malicious, it was.

I gently ask him not to use such word but with little effect. Mostly I just listen and keep our conversation going to better understand what is going on his world.