Should we start a hotline for adult children of BPDs?

[MiserableDaughter]

I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I feel like so many of us would benefit from talking, actually talking about our experiences with each other... .Maybe a once a week con call where people can share stories and get feedback? Sometimes you don't need to talk to a therapist but also just to a group of friends who relate and can validate... .Thoughts ?

[Kwamina]

Hi MiserableDaughter

It's great when people actually understand what you are talking about because they've had similar experiences. That's one of the great strengths of this internet forum. I agree though that talking with people in 'real' life can indeed also be very helpful.

I believe there are real life support groups for people dealing with BPD loves ones. Have you ever looked in to such a thing?

[GirlsCanDoMath]

Hello!

I agree. I wish there were local support group meetings we could go to; I would go.

B.

[Notwendy]

I have found this type of thing at Adult Children of Alcoholics groups. Not everyone in the group has a parent who abused alcohol. It is very much an "Adult Children of Dysfunction" group.

Before this group, I could only talk to my siblings about my mother. Nobody else would believe me. However, in this group, it feels as if almost everyone there is my sibling- as their parents are a variation of mine to some extent.

The ACOA is patterned after the 12 step AA book, but dives into childhood issues- not telling us to stay in blame/anger mode, but neither says to forget and move on. There is a focus on healing the inner child and dealing with co-dependency.

It is a support group, and a place to commiserate, but with a focus on healing from the dysfunction and learning better coping patterns. Many communities have these groups.

The issues they deal with are summarized in the "Laundry List". I think I identified with almost all of them.

www.adultchildren.org/lit-Laundry_List

[Sunfl0wer]

I believe NAMI does groups all over the US.

[MiserableDaughter]

I was thinking more on a con call setup so many of us here sitting in different parts of the country could talk and connect. Like we would get a dial in number and could have weekly type of things with a moderator. I just think that sometimes when I read some of these messages, I want to TALK to the person and say "me too! And this is what helped me!" Like a support con call where we could work on talking and healing... .We could still remain anonymous in a con call if we chose to just go by nicknames and could have a moderator. Thoughts?

[Leaving]

I was thinking more on a con call setup so many of us here sitting in different parts of the country could talk and connect. Like we would get a dial in number and could have weekly type of things with a moderator. I just think that sometimes when I read some of these messages, I want to TALK to the person and say "me too! And this is what helped me!" Like a support con call where we could work on talking and healing... .We could still remain anonymous in a con call if we chose to just go by nicknames and could have a moderator. Thoughts?

I completely understand your desire to have a conversation.   I'm the same way actually and much prefer talking.  Writing is therapeutic and all but cyberspace doesn't really feel 'real' and as satisfying   Plus, I hate sitting at my computer instead of just sitting back, relaxed and talking on the phone or in a therapists office.  

There used to be a group therapy session that met here once a week for daughters of narcissistic mothers but that group moved to an area that is just too far for me to drive.  Anyway, if you join a group like that, then you meet others that you can call and or have coffee with.  Try the Adult Children of Alcoholics group or call different therapy offices in your area and see if they have a group or know of one.  They may even start a group.  I hate to sound narcissistic but that group here was started because my therapist, after meeting with me and seeing all I'm dealing with, saw a great need for that group.  I really benefited from it while it was here.

I do see one issue that may arise with phone call group therapy though... .We might get too carried away and excited... .we would all be talking at the same time and unable to get any social cues from anyone!