Trying to see the long view but really having problems

[Daniell85]

I am trying to see the long view of the situation, but I am tripping over my own emotions. It's been over a week since I had any contact with him, and every time I consider trying to talk to him about my boundaries I start getting the sick feeling in my stomach and chest.

I don't even know where to begin.

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[MaroonLiquid]

The first few times are difficult.  It takes practice.  You have to believe in the boundary to set it.  You have to be strong enough to stick to it.  I know that feeling in the pit of the stomach.  It's fear.  its that feeling of, "What if they don't come back?"  "What if they throw a fit?"  Expect pushback.  it's calld an extinction burst to test the boundary. Expect it will happen.  They want to see where your boundary is.  The easy thing to do is set the boundary, walk away if you have to, and let them deal with the feelings and emotions of it.

[Daniell85]

After all of this, I am doubtful for real that the man actually knows what a boundary is. He lives his own life willy nilly, like they don't exist.

I am curious how to encourage him to create boundaries of his own.