how long did your honeymoon phase last? (part2)

[klacey3]

This is a continuation of the other thread that was very popular...

I would say the first 8 months. He had mood swings during that time but he would say all the time how lucky he was to have me and he would regret it if he lost me. On the 8th month I went on holiday for 2 weeks. The first day I was back we sat together and watched a move on his laptop. I noticed on his tab on the part where it shows the last 10 sites he had been on was a dating site. He denied it and said he was innocent. I told him i couldnt trust him. He then told me a female friend of his was being really emotional and was saying inappropiate things to him that I wouldnt like. I messaged her and she sent me their conversation where he told her how good looking he thought she was and it bothered him that she wasnt attracted to him. He told her he didnt like the thought of her with anyone else. She told him clearly more than once she wasnt interested in him and wasnt attracted to him as she only saw him as a friend.  I confronted him about this and he told me it was all twisted and she was a game player trying to ruin our relationship because she wasnt getting enough attention.

After that incident he begged for me to stay with him and made me all sorts of promises. I took him back but soon after he started being really selfish and rude. I would argue back and then refuse to talk to him. Strangely since the incident HE never trusted ME. If i didnt answer the phone or i refused to see him after an argument or I met up with my friends he would say vile things about how I was a dirty lying cheat, a compulsive liar, that i use him for his money and that im a horrible game player. He also would use his ex and dating sites as emotional blackmail if i did or didnt do something he wanted.

i dont really understand why... he was doing and saying things (probably meeting them as i got him on a dating site) but since HE didnt trust me not to cheat? 

We stayed in limbo sort of together for about 6 months after that. Arguments about 6 days a week with only very few times where he was sweet and loving and caring. Mostly when he thought he had lost me...

[Pretty Woman]

It's interesting to hear everyone's perspective on the "honeymoon" phase. I consider our first circular argument the end of the honeymoon. She still would be affectionate... .I just look at the "end" as where the weird crazy shyt started.

I remember the first circular argument and how bizaar it was. I don't even remember what it was about. It was such a petty issue and she was throwing an unbelievable tantrum. It was so weird and so strange I asked for my house key back.

This was month two and she had my key. Looking back, that was crazy in itself.

She ran out of my house screaming "You can't break up with me!" jumped in her car and drove off. I had to trick her back to get my key.

I remember standing on my porch watching this 40yo woman running down the driveway thinking: What the heck is wrong with her. Something is NOT right.

I had that gut instinct and should have listened to it. Three years later here I am. Wiser for it but exhausted.

[rotiroti]

I remember standing on my porch watching this 40yo woman running down the driveway thinking: What the heck is wrong with her. Something is NOT right.

Ha! I have a similar memory of watching her drive away, leaving me with that confused and concerned feeling. Funny thing is she used that against me later, accusing me that I knew at the time I was going to leave her.

It's interesting to hear everyone's perspective on the "honeymoon" phase. I consider our first circular argument the end of the honeymoon. She still would be affectionate... .I just look at the "end" as where the weird crazy shyt started.

I like that criteria, it's like the beginning of the end!

I unfortunately had a 8 year long friendship with her where I'm afraid we both idealized each other. After dating for 7 months and shortly after being engaged, the same familiar story was waiting for me. Life goes on and lesson learned.