Good article on a BPD now a Psych by Sonia Neale

[ArleighBurke]

Talks about what it feels like, what partners can do, what treatments are out there.

https://www.australiacounselling.com.au/mental-health-articles/experience-borderline-personality-disorder-BPD/

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[MaybeSo]

Good article.  Interesting to read about her insight into herself and her advocacy for treatment.

She is not a psychologist or psychiatrist.  She is studying to get a degree in psychology and counseling (unsure what level) and is a mental health peer support worker.

[an0ught]

Yup, took some time but worth a read. I loved that section but there is more good stuff.

Clinton Power: Sonia, do you have any advice for family and friends of people who may be struggling with borderline?

Sonia Neale: Learn validation skills. Validate, validate, validate. Learn active listening skills and clump your tongue between the teeth no matter what you hear. That would be one of the best things you can do, because once you feel validated then your emotions come down and you can start to have a proper conversation. I guess speak with the person. There is a person underneath the diagnosis and that person is a loving person, very intelligent person. This is a biological illness that causes emotional dis-regulation and once you can accept that there is treatment and recovery from it you can really live a life worth living.

[Notwendy]

Great insights. I like what she says about ambiguity leaving room for black and white thinking, and then this:

"It’s also important to learn too that sometimes information processing … The way we take in information is different to how other people take in information. It’s difficult to tolerate ambiguity. We need to be told exactly what is going on, especially for mental health professionals, knowing exactly what is happening without any ambiguity at all. Because ambiguity leads us into black and white thinking, everything is all good or all bad, we don’t take in those nuances of grace and we need to know exactly what is happening so that there’s no misinformation given.

I think for family members and professionals the best thing to do is not get involved in a power struggle when the person is hyperactive or hyper aroused. I think it’s a good idea to just concede that maybe you’re right, I’m really, really sorry, and then there’s time to debrief and resolve it later because in the moment the person who is out of control isn’t hearing anything, isn’t seeing anything because the blood is pumping in the head and it’s pumping at such a vast rate that you cannot hear what is being said. There’s no memory laid down in your head of what the other person is saying.

I think that’s important for other people to remember that when it’s all over and the person prefrontal cortex is back online as best as possible that’s the time to sit down and very quietly say, this is what happened and the other person, the family member of professional, try and keep their voice low and calm and try and be in control of your own emotions because that’s the best way to get through to somebody who’s dis-regulated, is to speak in a quite low voice."


There are times I know that my H does not hear or process what I say to him. I have to wait until he is in a calm space to talk about anything- even non emotional topics, otherwise he doesn't understand, hear it, or remember it. This explains why he can not even remember what he has said to me ( hurtful things) when he is angry.

[whitebackatcha]

Good article, thanks for sharing!

[enlighten me]

I really liked this article. It validated for me some of my personal beliefs on BPD. I particularly liked what she said on brain plasticity as I have wondered if DBTre routed to bypass areas of the brain affected by BPD. I also liked her take on co morbid illness such as fibromyalgia.