Ex BPD girlfriend reappears then vanishes

[saxon747]

Long story short, I was in a 3 1/2 year relationship with a BPD when she left me for someone else immediately but still tried to contact me on a monthly basis. During her new relationship she probably tossed the guy out of her house/life a dozen times. He was a complete loser/squatter and yet I was the hard working mentally stable one. Fast forward to about a couple weeks ago when I actually saw her out and made small talk with her. She told me her whole story about the replacement (which I knew about anyway as she always kept me up to date on her life). Anyway we basically (foolish me) went out a few times and the last time she seduced me to the point of me not being able to resist and had passionate sex and she told me she missed me and all that crap. It's been a week and a half and I have not heard a word from her whatsoever. Hit me at a bad time in my life so I'm pining for her but I'm determined to stay no contact though I admit I want to here from her. She said that she wants to take her time and finally get her life in order which is in more dire straights then ever (financially bankrupt). I feel like I was used and I'm pissed at myself but have to admit the sex was good/needed... .I know, I know, I need to move on and stay NC but I'm hurting like Hell

[Mutt]

Hi saxon747,



I can see how this would be difficult. I was hurt and angry with my ex's choice because my replacement has different morals and values than I. Is that what hurts like hell?  Or is it because she's tossed out this squatter a dozen times and she hasn't broken it off with him? Do you find it hard that she keeps you up to date with her personal life?