Took me a long time to detach from my undiagnosed BPD ex girlfriend aka fiancee,finally starting to feel the fog lifting and seeing her for truly what she is.Nothing but a disturbed cruel manipulative individual.She emotionally tortured me for months after a relationship that lasted nearly 9 years,saying some really nasty abusive things to hurt me,how I was ugly,I was controlling,crap in bed,rubbish father to my children etc etc you think of it I was called it.Rubbed my nose in the fact she had met someone else on the internet even though they are not together.
All the time she was throwing in the odd "I will always love you" posting memes quotes love songs to keep me hooked but the actions never measured up.I am quite happy being single right now,enjoying being free and independent and definitely loving being away from the drama she loves to make up.All I ever got from her was a lame arsed apology and her saying we both made mistakes.
What I find incredibly funny is how every now and then she will change her relationship status to in a relationship on facebook.last week her and her sycophant 'friend/enabler' decided to post on her facebook wall how she is now pregnant and so happy and how her and her new partner have been trying for quite a while
.I didn't react to any of it just like I haven't reacted to anything at all over the last few months,so she changes it back to no relationship info to show.Again today she changes it back to in a relationship
.I have given up trying to make sense of nonsense because it really is impossible.She text me this morning asking me if I would lend her some money and I politely told her no,an hour later the fb relationship change
.
she has been trying absolutely every childish trick in the book to make me flare up and get a reaction out of me like I was doing right after the split but I aint biting.
Now the best part is she is still lying to me,she actually had a moment of reflection a couple of weeks ago and told me she planned to go and see a doctor but she wants to do it her own way,I probably didn't help the situation of saying "yeah I know your way,deny everything and blame everyone else and go and find the next victim" but I have found it very hard to bite my tongue after witnessing her being so evil and cruel towards me.next thing she tells me she has seen a doctor and he/she told her to speak with her mother because that is where a lot of the problems lie.Now she thinks I was born yesterday because a doctor would not say that to her
.I have not asked any more questions on the matter,I am fully prepared to move on with my life being there for my children and still working full time which throughout all of this I managed to keep doing which I am so proud of myself for doing
She even seems to think she may be bipolar but as for ascertaining whether that is the case or not she is doing diddly squat to find out. Messaged me again this morning asking me to pick her up some milk and saying I wouldn't be able to stay for a coffee or have a cigarette because she hasn't got any.So me being me I took her some tobacco round,yes I got a thanks out of her but then since coming home she posts a song on her facebook basically implying that 'I' have an ugly heart and I am not her sunshine anymore.Looking for a reaction or what?
I never thought I would get to this stage I am at now,10 months ago I was a mess,close to taking my life,not knowing what I had done wrong,the answer was NOTHING.All I ever did was love the girl unconditionally and she threw it back in my face and blamed me for HER problems.So thank you to everybody on this fantastic site who in their own little way helped me understand the goings on and the dynamics of what happened to me.
And for anyone who is currently going through this right now,all I can say is,MOVE ON,do not give them the satisfaction,YOU ARE AWESOME and they DO NOT DESERVE YOU.Take some time out to be truly comfortable with yourself and realise that happiness truly comes from within and you do not need them and their fake love to make you happy.
My ex will never ever get to me again with her absolute nonsense.Ten months on,she left me viciously and callously but yet she still keeps going on about it on her facebook,calling me a liar,saying how I always said I would never leave her so why did I leave,saying how I make her angry blah blah.You really can't make this stuff up
AT LAST I FINALLY SEE CLEARLY AGAIN
p.s I don't know who said this but I came across someone posting this the other day on the family and it gets me through each day when I feel a little weak."Not my circus!,not my monkeys!" absolute classic I love it
