Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
July 10, 2025, 02:26:14 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Experts share their discoveries
[video]
99
Could it be BPD
BPDFamily.com Production
Listening to shame
Brené Brown, PhD
What is BPD?
Blasé Aguirre, MD
What BPD recovery looks like
Documentary
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Anyone else ever think why wasn't I recycled?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Anyone else ever think why wasn't I recycled? (Read 619 times)
Corgicuddler95
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 111
Anyone else ever think why wasn't I recycled?
«
on:
September 26, 2015, 07:01:55 AM »
I'm now three months out of my BPD relationship and have been thinking about why so many BPDs recycle their exes but why I wasn't? My ex is going through an especially stressful time right now, she lost a family member, has a really unhealthy sleeping pattern and is about restart university. Despite the reason she broke up with me wasn't massive aggressive (I believe it was engulfment) she has yet to even try talking to me.
I know its not healthy to think like this but it's just another hit in my self-esteem.
Logged
AsGoodAsItGets
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 173
Re: Anyone else ever think why wasn't I recycled?
«
Reply #1 on:
September 26, 2015, 07:23:07 AM »
Recycles have to do with available supply, not so much stress. My ex left when she got a new job as a Secretary. So she met so many new people coming into her job every day and had an easy time smiling and baiting new guys to ask her out. . Sorry. University, most likely she will met lots of new people.
Logged
enlighten me
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3289
Re: Anyone else ever think why wasn't I recycled?
«
Reply #2 on:
September 26, 2015, 07:26:03 AM »
Not all do recycle. My exgf said once it was over she never went back. That said we dated twice twenty years apart though and I finished with her.
Logged
Corgicuddler95
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 111
Re: Anyone else ever think why wasn't I recycled?
«
Reply #3 on:
September 26, 2015, 07:50:47 AM »
Quote from: AsGoodAsItGets on September 26, 2015, 07:23:07 AM
Recycles have to do with available supply, not so much stress. My ex left when she got a new job as a Secretary. So she met so many new people coming into her job every day and had an easy time smiling and baiting new guys to ask her out. . Sorry. University, most likely she will met lots of new people.
I'm not sure it's university which will be her supply. She's become very anxious and the only time I know she's gone out in the last couple of months was because her best friend went with her and had to drink a bunch to get over the anxiety.
If anything I think it's her online friends which are her supply right now.
Logged
maxen
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2252
Re: Anyone else ever think why wasn't I recycled?
«
Reply #4 on:
September 26, 2015, 08:25:11 AM »
Hi Corgi. I'm really sorry for your situation. You'll find people here though who can understand the confusions that BPD brings.
My exw and I dated twice 6 yrs apart, so that was a recycle of a sort. But at the end of the marriage she'd started another r/s, and was fully emotionally occupied. It's not too cynical to say that I was only ever a cardboard cutout for her, the one who was supposed to fill her emotionally and didn't. This was fully on display after she blindsided me and bolted. I too hoped for something, not a recycle but just an acknowledgement, but got nothing. It's been very hard. Please lean on your friends now, maintain your social connection.
BTW, we had a Cardigan, and the doggie went with her. :'(
Logged
SummerStorm
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Friend
Posts: 926
Re: Anyone else ever think why wasn't I recycled?
«
Reply #5 on:
September 26, 2015, 08:32:34 AM »
My former friend BPD doesn't recycle. She did sort of try to recycle our friendship, but it was all manipulation on her part because she was desperate and facing the prospect of being homeless. Once she stops feeling something for someone, she's done. I've never once heard her say anything about going back to an ex, though she does tend to have a major problem sticking with No Contact for a long time. She's always hovering.
Logged
So when will this end it goes on and on/Over and over and over again/Keep spinning around I know that it won't stop/Till I step down from this for good - Lifehouse "Sick Cycle Carousel"
SGraham
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 274
Re: Anyone else ever think why wasn't I recycled?
«
Reply #6 on:
September 26, 2015, 12:52:25 PM »
I think my ex doesnt recyle me out of shame.
Logged
Suspicious1
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up & 'silent treatment'
Posts: 302
Re: Anyone else ever think why wasn't I recycled?
«
Reply #7 on:
September 27, 2015, 10:27:56 AM »
I was only ever recycled when it was him who left me, and then I indicated I hadn't wanted the relationship to end. As soon as I left him, there was no recycle attempt. His fear of abandonment is such that if he thought I was leaving him, he'd have to leave me first. When I finally did end the relationship, it was game over. He'd see it as "losing face" if we ever got back together, as he'll have painted me very very black to everyone who knows him, and he'd see it as too humiliating. His pride is stronger than his need to recycle.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Anyone else ever think why wasn't I recycled?
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...