To my new family - we all know the truth

[StandingTall]

I just realized that the feeling i always tried to tell my x fiancee BPdW was ... " i feel like i'm walking on a blade of a knife" one step in  the wrong direction and you'll cut me off. Why do you want me to feel this way... .And i thought that was love/loyalty ... .Get off the knife and use it to cut her off. I know you know that your life is better without her- get through the pain and start over... .write scream talk find someone to hang out with, go to the gym --- you have your life back be grateful my friend you are loved by others now you need to love yourself- Because i was on the knife and i walked a straight line and in the end i still was cut off--- the forum is called bpdfamily because we are here for you when needed but we all need to be there for yourselves maybe for the first time in a long time you feel alone but when you can sit quietly with yourself at peace with life you know your in the right place. 

Dig deep inside an ask yourself are you alone or do you just not have them?- we have family friends god and people in the world that are far worst than us.

Do you have something to live for other than them?-- Yourself

Did you live before you new your BPD/NPD? YES

Will they break us- No

Will they ever be happy - NO

We will find our place in this world and most of us here know the truth we are better off without them- We cant save a soul that has been lost


Thank you everyone for the past month

I wish my strength will be here everyday to help and detach-- But look up take a minute an be grateful because today is a good day my friend- Its one more day you do not have them making you walk on that knife blade... .

[Herodias]

You are so right... .and thank you for that. The walking the knife statement is right on target. I wish I could cut mine out of my mind... .I am getting there. I have been doing so much work on this and myself to understand. I know that I am codependent and breaking ties with someone like this is like getting off a drug addiction. They say 3 months out you will begin to feel better. I am 2 months that I have seen him and one month since I talked to him. I am getting there. Last night I read something on domestic violence and 95 percent of what they consider abuse was done to me! I ended up feeling afraid... .I remember some of the nights when I was so afraid of him. Sometimes I think I just didn't believe him and maybe should have. For me, remembering those things is helping me not focus on all the women he is involved with. I know he will act this way again. But it will not be with me... .It is nice to have a place to come to to get these things off our minds and to get the support, like a family. Yes, I am in a better place. No, I never want to get into a situation like this again! Yes, I feel lonely at times. I have always been someone who likes to be alone. I was alone allot with him. I think it was just nice to know there was someone out there who supposedly loved me. I miss the hugs... .I don't miss anything else, really. It is sad. You are right I am in the right place. Thank you Standing Tall.