Hi was wondering if anyone could give me their experiences... .
What's the longest you've had to endure N/C with your BPD partner? What happened in the meantime. If they go 100% cold do they come back or is it hopeless?
Thank you
5 years here, we werent together additional 3 years, but it was the moment when she wanted to come back and I literally shut the doors and didnt answer for anything for 2 weeks. After that she left for those years and I Never asked anyone about her.
I worked on my own issues, I worked on my career, had two gfs (both not really 'normal'. I either never considered myself normal, I used the 8 years to find out why.
Recently she recontacted in best possible moment (ofc for her), which is after my break up. I thought it wont do any harm, those years, plus I thought I still 'love' my recent ex, so I met her. She got me within few days, well, you see, we recycled... .
I dont know what you mean with "hope". Sure, they tend to recycle as hell. But is it hope? Maybe... .Every time I NCed in the earlier past she was always begging me to come back ; sometimes after a ... day (knock, knock), sometimes it took few months (sadly with 100% success rate - really stupid from my side, it was like 5 or 10 times - I dont remember), until I left abroad (coming home 1-2 per month), then she turned to other guys and after me coming back I have had the strenght to pull back for those years. Until now, as you read.
Right now Im mostly taking, letting to take care about myself. This is not as egoistic as it sounds, Im checking out if and how she changed herself. Im ready to leave anyday. I clearly communicated it. I think this all happens bc if we were both normal then we could be really wonderful pair, its huge attraction on both sides which wont burn out.
If you had this mutual attraction then the 'hope' is always there. It takes one eye contact and you Will get a call within a month.
