BPD or Sociopath? Could they be overlapping

[Itstopsnow]

I am trying to come to terms that this guy I dated for 18 months and was a former catholic priest has cheated our entire relationship. I think it may be more that just BPD. He has no conscious, to do these things. and finding a psycho profile on line about him that was posted by a girl back in 2012 when he was an active young priest tells me he has been this way for a long time. It is hard not to feel like it was partly something I did or didn't do. I shared so much with this guy and his feelings seemed so genuine and true. So many times when I would try and leave him, he would cry and cry and beg and tell me how much he loved me and how much we had together.  Has anyone had experience with a sociopath? I really think he was one. and a narcissist. He did show a lot of BPD traits too. The clinginess, impulsive spending and gambling, the over dependance on his family and no friends, He is beyond sick. It is just a terrible most horrible experience of my life. There is nothing I can look back on and salvage. No trip or memory that was real. He exploited me and had such disregard for me. Would he of done this to any girl or just me I wonder. I just want to forget about it. I found out everything this past wednesday so it has only been 3 days . I know I am better off and there are a lot of things to be thankful for. I didn't marry him, I wasn't pregnant by him, He didn't give me an STD and it was only 18 months. Please any help on what you guys think would be great.   

[Michelle27]

I have wondered many times whether it was BPD that caused the behaviors I dealt with for 15 years or if he was just that much of a sociopath.  At this point in my healing, I realize it doesn't even matter. All that is important is that work on myself so I never let this kind of thing happen to me again.  It does no good to analyze his behavior (and lies) without examining how I allowed it.  I do think he honed in on my vulnerabilities and exploited them until I started taking care of myself and allowed it.  That's on me, just like his behavior is on him.

[Lonely_Astro]

According to the DSM-5, BPD/Sociopathy is a Cluster B personality disorder:

Cluster B is called the dramatic, emotional, and erratic cluster. It includes:

Borderline Personality Disorder.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Histrionic Personality Disorder.

Antisocial Personality Disorder.

So the short answer to your question is: yes, they can be overlapping or even have comorbidity.  Those suffering from Cluster B traits may show some or all of the various disorders in the cluster.  Of course, every person experiences the traits of a disorder (at some point), the difference is 'normal' people are able to regulate the emotion and it doesn't affect their lives like those that are afflicted with the disorder.

There are 3 clusters in the DSM-5, in total.  I read somewhere that everyone can/does demonstrate various disorders with certain stressors or even throughout their day, but the difference is that 'normal' people regulate it and go on without much more thought to it, whereas those diagnosed with a disorder get 'stuck' with it and can't move forward.  Thats why the DSM has criteria that must be met to be considered disordered and not merely because you have a passing thought that is cluster a, b, or c related makes you disordered.  Does that make sense?

As an example, how many times have you heard someone say "I just had to *fix, rearrange, correct something* because I'm OCD like that!  I had to fix it"?  They may be using it jokingly, but OCD is a cluster C disorder.  I have watched people rearrange their desks and align pencils by length or stack papers neatly into a stack or something else to 'tidy' up.  That's OCD behavior (and I do it myself, I'm confident we all do it to some length).  That doesn't make us OCD, it just means we show tendencies of OCD.  That's just an example to illustrate what I was saying.  Someone with true OCD would arrange the pencils, then rearrange them again until they were perfectly aligned by length or color or whatever other compulsion they must fix to make it 'right'.  Then they'd do it all over again because it wasn't perfect the way it was.  They would fixate on it until it was 'perfect' in their mind (even though perfection is subjective in this case).  Hopefully I explained that well

[Herodias]

It is confusing... .At first I thought mine was totally BPD, then I realized he had some NPD and the domestic violence people said he could be a sociopath! I definitely see all of them in mine and agree with them being co-morbid. I have seen mine have extreme "feelings" and get deregulated and have a tantrum like a toddler. ... .I have seen him have no sympathy for people and think it's all about him and his needs. He asked me why I was crying when my brother-in-law died.  I have also had him hold me on the floor with his hand over my mouth and not let me go! Wave a gun around me and put a pillow over my face... .as if to "try it out" so to speak. I didn't think he was trying to kill me, because he told me he could do that if he wanted to and I believe him! He was a Marine.  I would like to put a diagnosis on him as we all want to do. The industry is minimizing the disorders as Lonely Astro said... .I have been told it is because the treatment is the same. Sometimes I wondered if he was faking these things... .He is a pathological liar. I think I need to just go with the diagnosis he was given which was "personality disorder" period... .In this case, it's all bad. Sorry you went through what you did, but you are lucky to be out quickly... .some of us have been with our pwD for years and see them go off with other people, juts to do the same thing. It's very disturbing. We are to learn to have boundaries in the future for ourselves... .be safe.

[Ulysses]

My exNPD/BPDh was sent by our MC for an Aspergers' evaluation.  The psychologist (specialist working with children and adults with Aspergers) told him he had NPD, not Aspergers.  According to my exH, the psychologist also told him he evaluated him for sociopathy, but that he didn't quite qualify for a diagnosis.  A policeman friend of mine indicated he always thought my exH was "hard to read," and off-putting and unsettling.  Referred me to (Robert?) Hare's info on psychopaths.  A friend sent me the book, The Sociopath Next Door.  I didn't really see my exH in the descriptions of the sociopath, but I did think the description of the psychopath in that book fit him to a T.  My T, who has never met my exH, but has consulted with my MC, feels there are traits of psychopathy in my exH.  My minister used the term "evil," for his behaviors, which she said she doesn't like to use, and hardly ever does.  He is a sadist, literally in a sexual sense (not with me - with his multiple affair partners), and I think he enjoys getting me upset, which he tries to do through our children.  My D T has told me, after working with exH, the only reasons she can see for some of his decisions with the children is to be cruel to me.

So there's my post painting my exH "black," so to speak.  Oh, well.  I do think in extreme cases there are traits of pscycopathy and sociopathy tied in with at least NPD. 

[musherx]

I'm convinced that when the splitting begins and snowballs, they can easily become sociopaths.

Here's an article by Donna Anderson about how she believes BPDs can move into sociopathic states.

www.lovefraud.com/2008/03/27/the-borderline-personality-as-transient-sociopath/

[hashtag_loyal]

I don't know anything about NPD or sociopaths, but I don't think you need to necessarily be a sociopath to be able to inflict severe pain on someone you care about.

A pwBPD suffers from an intense sense of shame. It is that shame which leads to a lot of their seemingly-inexplicable behavior. That behavior is hard for a non to explain, but a non doesn't hate his/her own existence, and isn't subconsciously hoping for bad things to happen to himself/herself.

For instance, my dBPDxgf would intentionally "do something to upset" me, so that I "could beat" her. She willingly did things to hurt me because that was what she felt she needed to do in order for her to be punished. In her twisted world view, she was a bad person who needed to be punished. Her need for that punishment was so great that she willingly hurt me repeatedly in the hopes of making me mad enough to hit her (I never did, btw.)

Don't we all, as humans, do things to reinforce our personal views of ourselves? If we see ourselves as "givers", do we not give willingly to charity, and feel more comfortable as ourselves when we do that giving? If we see ourselves as an honest person, are we not going to tell the truth, even in a difficult situation, because telling a lie would be such a departure of who we are, that we are just not comfortable doing it?

Is it not surprising then, that if a pwBPD sees themselves as "evil", that they might engage in evil behavior that would appropriately reinforce that view? Is it not also possible for a person to love you but hate him/herself? If that were the case, the more he/she were to hurt you, the more comfortable he/she would be in his/her own shame.