I can't stop thinking of him

[JaneLin]

BPDex cheated on me when our relationship started to turn sour. Now he has a new woman in his life but still contacts me and tells me I am his soulmate. I know he has BPD, so does his kids. I have always been the rescuer but at the end, I am the one that is getting hurt over and over again.

[Mutt]

Hi JaneLin,

I'm sorry to hear that. I can relate with how deep the wounds are when our significant other cheats. It has to be very difficult to hear him call you his soulmate when he is with another woman .

How long were you together? How old are the kids? Do you have kids together?

[MSNYC]

I am in a very similar situation. It's so difficult to make sense of. We ought to share coping mechanisms.

[tribalmart]

I'm in something similar too... .she lied, manipulated and now she is rebounding and she was harassing me to see me again. She's trying to play with both of us (her rebound and me)! It makes no sense! No empathy, she's so selfish! I had to change my cell phone number. It was just too much to handle! 4 weeks NC, sometimes it's difficult but I'm proud of me!

[MSNYC]

Having the exact same situation. I posted about it in another thread, and yes - he is dating someone new but "she knows that I am still in love with someone else" (highly doubtful he actually told her this!) and he "can't even get an erection with her" so they aren't having sex (dubious as well) and that I am the love of his life. I can't begin to fathom how different the woman he's seeing thinks their situation is. I hope she gets a clue soon and gets out.

[tribalmart]

Do they think they have the right to do everything they want without consequences? They fear so much loneliness, they always have many options, they try to keep control on the replacement and the ex... .just in case! For us (sane person) it's difficult to understand the way they think and behave. The speech never matches with their actions. I was VERY frustrated when she tried to sleep again with me while dating another guy... .SO insulting! Who do you think you are to believe that I will ever consider to be such a fool? They are very weird... .they are very damaged and there is no sense in their behaviour thats why we are not able to find answers.

[C.Stein]

When mine discarded me this last time it was a complete and total never look back discard.  She wants nothing to do with me, almost like I am a disease to her now.  It is highly unlikely I will ever hear from her again.

[JaneLin]

No, when the relationship is over... .never look back. I know that when I replied to his attention, it was merely feeding his ego. Time to stop. Never look back.