A bad night and close call

[Depression = 72% of members]

Been in a relationship for about ten years (off and on) with a unBPD. She's mentioned she was considered for diagnosis as borderline years ago but it was dismissed. However after what I've seen and been through and quite a bit of reading up on it, it seems very likely they were wrong or mislead in some way. The other night was a bad one.

Things have been fairly peaceful til last night. It was our first day quitting smoking and as soon as I got home from work the trouble started. She wanted to go to goodwill  in a nearby town so I talked to her dad for money for her to spend as he lives with us now and I was broke. He said to try to keep it close to twenty well that wasn't enough in her opinion and she wanted me to figure out what to do. Well she started getting stressed at this point and wanted me to get smokes. I ignored the request and went to p make her dads storage payment for him as she was getting pissed. When I got back found out she yelled at her dad after he asked to watch tv in the living room and she wanted quiet to calm down. Found her in her room laying on the floor crying. Tried to ask if she was alright and she tells me to leave her alone. This is when the real trouble begins as her panic attack was starting from the stress. She was laying in there coughing terribly and crying. I asked to help her a few more times getting the same response each time. When she finally came out of her room she was breathing poorly and looked wiped out. By this time she has told me to leave and go stay at my parents. Before I left she tells me she is leaving and not coming back that she is going to a hotel. Which is weird as she has no money. Tells me her ride would be there around ten. Well after sitting in a quiet room with her for a while finally gave her some smokes. She's telling me she's had another minor heart attack. Fast forward the night. We've talked things out somewhat she continues to say her chest keeps squeezing. As we lay in bed that night she tells me she had the perfect plan and she was gonna kill herself in the hotel room. She found comfort in that idea and that it would hopefully make us feel some of the pain we had caused her as she felt we didn't care about her because we pushed her to that point. I'm extremely disturbed her fall back is suicide. I've been unsure of things between us and this makes me even more wary of leaving her as I fear that is going to be her way out. She has panic / anxiety disorder, ptsd, and a bad heart and no where to go. Don't know what to do anymore. Any advice or input much appreciated.

[GhostBear82]

Been in a relationship for about ten years (off and on) with a unBPD. She's mentioned she was considered for diagnosis as borderline years ago but it was dismissed. However after what I've seen and been through and quite a bit of reading up on it, it seems very likely they were wrong or mislead in some way. The other night was a bad one.

Things have been fairly peaceful til last night. It was our first day quitting smoking and as soon as I got home from work the trouble started. She wanted to go to goodwill  in a nearby town so I talked to her dad for money for her to spend as he lives with us now and I was broke. He said to try to keep it close to twenty well that wasn't enough in her opinion and she wanted me to figure out what to do. Well she started getting stressed at this point and wanted me to get smokes. I ignored the request and went to p make her dads storage payment for him as she was getting pissed. When I got back found out she yelled at her dad after he asked to watch tv in the living room and she wanted quiet to calm down. Found her in her room laying on the floor crying. Tried to ask if she was alright and she tells me to leave her alone. This is when the real trouble begins as her panic attack was starting from the stress. She was laying in there coughing terribly and crying. I asked to help her a few more times getting the same response each time. When she finally came out of her room she was breathing poorly and looked wiped out. By this time she has told me to leave and go stay at my parents. Before I left she tells me she is leaving and not coming back that she is going to a hotel. Which is weird as she has no money. Tells me her ride would be there around ten. Well after sitting in a quiet room with her for a while finally gave her some smokes. She's telling me she's had another minor heart attack. Fast forward the night. We've talked things out somewhat she continues to say her chest keeps squeezing. As we lay in bed that night she tells me she had the perfect plan and she was gonna kill herself in the hotel room. She found comfort in that idea and that it would hopefully make us feel some of the pain we had caused her as she felt we didn't care about her because we pushed her to that point. I'm extremely disturbed her fall back is suicide. I've been unsure of things between us and this makes me even more wary of leaving her as I fear that is going to be her way out. She has panic / anxiety disorder, ptsd, and a bad heart and no where to go. Don't know what to do anymore. Any advice or input much appreciated.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

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[Rapt Reader]

Hello, GhostBear82... .Your wife's situation sounds tragic; how did last night go? How is she doing today? Is she being treated for her mental health issues? She does have a Dr. for her heart issues and other physical troubles, right? If she is still dysregulating today, could she be persuaded to seek medical attention? I'm so sorry that this is all happening 

Please keep us updated on how things are going... .This site has so much information (you can check the links to the right-hand side of this page for a start) that can help you get a handle on why your wife acts the way she does, and how you can take care of yourself and figure out how to make things better. We really understand, and want to help