Our relationship was definitely rocky

[Scopikaz]

You know, I was in 17 year marriage. Dated a few times to some not so good people and one or two who were stable.   Then M. Seemed like she had it together except for her red flags (two failed marriages and loss of custody of her children after she initially had custody). Our relationship started out great.  I was texting long term female friends who I had known since high school (30 yrs) who were a support after my marriage ended.  

I also remained friends on fb with a couple of former girlfriends.  That's where things became bad. We got In a huge argument, I shouldn't have allowed it to happen but she was in tears, tempers flared etc. we had about three or four more such  arguments over the next few months over different things.  I know it takes two to argue, but I have never argued so much in my life. Admittedly I was wrong in several of these arguments so I can't entirely blame her.

But I guess I'm curious why I allowed things to escalate too. All couples argue or disagree, but they don't all have to get to that point her in tears saying she felt worthless. Me frustrated wondering why I Acted like I did.

I don't know she is BPD - but she had rough childhood, abandonment, etc. lost her kids, never a stable relationship, all ended poorly, has zero self worth, extremely jealous, demanded much attention, needed her way, etc

But I still can't Shake the feeling I failed her. Failed me. Now she moved In with girl ten years younger who frequents bars and parties.  And She's in that atmosphere and scene. She's 41.  Isn't it time to grow up and settle down. Not hit the bars?  Wouldn't losing her children have been a rock bottom?

Is it like alcoholism where they do hit rock bottom?

What's likelihood she will continue this trend as opposed to settle down and marry and be happy?

[JohnLove]

It's probably not a trend... .more a lifestyle. If she is hitting the bars, maybe that's her way of finding someone to settle down with.

[Scopikaz]

But with her deep emotional issues at least or BPD at worst will she find that perfect love or will they be better equipped to deal With her issues. Or will cycle repeat