Getting worried and anxious

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Hi there,

I have been in NC for two months and LC one month before that with my wife of 19 years.  She left in july but she was playing the push/pull game pretty hard on me and was causing me anxiety.  I have gotten stronger.  I can face her and not talk to her.  I have done.  But she has not given up.  Still just wanting to talk about the "kids" but it's intense.  Last time I spoke to her, she tried to guilt me and kept saying she wanted a divorce but kept calling babe throughout the conversation. There is a replacement.  She's lying to everyone around her including our teenage boys.  She is living a fantasy that she has lived before with me being the villain.  So, I am going to go to my daughters' Xmas recital on thursday.  It will be the first time she seems me in over two months.  I want her to keep her distance. 

My concern is, will she?  I've been in this situation before.  It was before we had kids and we were in college.  She accused me of rape and I kept my distance.  It wasn't until she saw me with another female that she dropped the act and started to get my attention again. 

Will seeing me, open that door again for her?  Should I stay away.  I know it is for my kids but I would rather take care of myself first and prevent drama.

Will she keep away or am I opening up a new can of worms by allowing her to see me?

[Joem678]

Hi there,

I have been in NC for two months and LC one month before that with my wife of 19 years.  She left in july but she was playing the push/pull game pretty hard on me and was causing me anxiety.  I have gotten stronger.  I can face her and not talk to her.  I have done.  But she has not given up.  Still just wanting to talk about the "kids" but it's intense.  Last time I spoke to her, she tried to guilt me and kept saying she wanted a divorce but kept calling babe throughout the conversation. There is a replacement.  She's lying to everyone around her including our teenage boys.  She is living a fantasy that she has lived before with me being the villain.  So, I am going to go to my daughters' Xmas recital on thursday.  It will be the first time she seems me in over two months.  I want her to keep her distance. 

My concern is, will she?  I've been in this situation before.  It was before we had kids and we were in college.  She accused me of rape and I kept my distance.  It wasn't until she saw me with another female that she dropped the act and started to get my attention again. 

Will seeing me, open that door again for her?  Should I stay away.  I know it is for my kids but I would rather take care of myself first and prevent drama.

Will she keep away or am I opening up a new can of worms by allowing her to see me?

[thisworld]

Would it be possible for you to go there with one of your relatives, like the children's grandmother or auntie? Someone who could function like a sort of protection for you but not trigger her?

[Joem678]

I've thought about that but no one really comes to mind.  I think anyone would trigger her to be honest.  My oldest kids tell me they'll distract her.

[thisworld]

Oh, you have other kids who can support you in this. I think this is very nice. I don't have children myself and I don't know about your exact situation but I would take the risk and go so that my situation with an adult would not deprive my children of a nice memory. And then I would detach or run away to the best of my power.

Good luck,

[Joem678]

Thanks I appreciate it.