My mom probably has BPD

[Depression = 72% of members]

My mom has major depression. She just kicked myself, my sister and our grandma out of her house and said that she never wants to see us again. I've suggested she get help from counseling but she refuses to acknowledge that she has a problem. She does not take medication for her depression and claims she is happy although she cries daily. Within the past few months she has gotten a lot more angry and has lashed out at her family and at strangers. She has gotten physically and verbally aggressive with us to the point that we have had to leave town. Her cognitive abilities including memory have gotten worse. She denies suicidal thoughts but frequently expresses veiled suicidal ideation. I would really like to find some solutions and get her treatment before something even worse happens.

[Fnord847]

My mom has major depression. She just kicked myself, my sister and our grandma out of her house and said that she never wants to see us again. I've suggested she get help from counseling but she refuses to acknowledge that she has a problem. She does not take medication for her depression and claims she is happy although she cries daily. Within the past few months she has gotten a lot more angry and has lashed out at her family and at strangers. She has gotten physically and verbally aggressive with us to the point that we have had to leave town. Her cognitive abilities including memory have gotten worse. She denies suicidal thoughts but frequently expresses veiled suicidal ideation. I would really like to find some solutions and get her treatment before something even worse happens.

[GeekyGirl]

Hi Fnord! 

I don't blame you for being worried. It sounds like your mother's behavior has been pretty disruptive, and that has to be hard to watch. My mother has BPD and I've seen some similar behavior in her. It's tough when you feel like you have to get away or that you're not wanted. You'll find a lot of folks here who can relate to what you're going through.

Sometimes people with BPD don't realize that their behavior is abnormal, and even the ones that do may not be inclined to get help. You mentioned that her behavior has changed over the last few months. Has her behavior changed, or intensified?

How are you doing with this? What kind of support do you have for yourself? Of course you want to take care of your mother, but you have to make sure that you're taking care of yourself too.

[Kwamina]

Hi Fnord847

Dealing with a severely depressed parent can be very difficult. Since when do you believe has she been struggling with depression? How was her behavior when you were growing up?

It's very unfortunate that your mother doesn't acknowledge she has a problem and doesn't seek help. You mention how her behavior has gotten worse these last few months. Did anything happen in particular preceding this change in her behavior? Is this the first time she's gotten so physically and verbally abusive or have there been periods before in which her behavior deteriorated like this?

It isn't easy hearing a loved one express suicidal thoughts. We have a workshop here that you might find helpful:

TOOLS: Dealing with threats of Suicide and Suicide Attempts

How do your sister and grandmother view your mother's behavior?

Take care and welcome to bpdfamily